#79: Two Teacher Types in Martial Arts [Video + Podcast]

Welcome to Episode #79 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Two Teacher Types.”

There are two major teacher types in the martial arts. Each has pros and cons, depending on what type of student you are!

In this episode, I’ll share my experiences with both teacher types and offer my advice on how to get the most of your training. We’ll discuss—

• Earning respect versus expecting it
• Security and insecurity
• Living in a fun house
• Bloopers in art and life
• Freedom from anxiety
• Losing and gaining power
• Opening the door to growth

Whew! That’s quite a list. Let’s get started! 🙂

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Two Teacher Types

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SUMMARY

I classify teachers into two types: the “touchable” and the “untouchable”.

Untouchable teachers follow an authoritarian model of teaching. They present themselves as having all the answers and do not allow themselves to be seen making mistakes. They typically do not spar or roll with students. In this school culture, respect is expected, as opposed to earned.

A touchable teacher is the complete opposite. They present themselves as works in progress. They sweat alongside their students, making mistakes and admitting shortcomings. In this school culture, respect is earned through interpersonal contact, as opposed to reputation or legend.

While the untouchable teacher can offer security, inspire confidence, and built trust, this model of instruction tends to lose power over time. Flaws are revealed in spite of trying to hide them. Plus, if each generation of student is led to believe that they are less capable than the previous, the value of what is being taught drops rapidly.

The touchable teacher, however, inspires each generation to be better than the last. The touchable teacher find reasons to praise as well as criticize. In this way, the value of what is being taught increases.

Overall, the untouchable teacher can be very effective in improving the lives of students seeking security and clarity in the short-term. But in the long-term, the touchable teacher is better able to offer students the tools they need to succeed independently.

TRANSCRIPT

Howdy, good to see you again. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. This is episode #79 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. It’s been a busy month, I’m sure you’re busy too, so let’s get right to it.

Today, I want to talk about the two types of martial arts teachers that you’re going to run into out there. I’ve experienced both of these teacher types, I think I’ve been both of these teacher types. But it’s an important discussion because I think once you identify the two types of teachers, you’ll also identify the two types of students who are attracted to those types of teachers.

Once you have an idea of what kind of student you are, you’ll have a clear idea of why you want that kind of teacher and what you’re getting from that kind of teacher. Maybe you’re not in the right place, maybe you didn’t know there’s another type of teacher out there.

So, this might get a little uncomfortable, but if you’re a normal listener to this show, you’re used to that. So, you’re ready? Let’s get to it.

Okay, so the other day, I put up a clip on Instagram. It was just me in the park and I was spinning a staff. It looked pretty smooth, so I put it up just for fun. But I also put up a little clip right after it of a blooper of me dropping the staff. Flies off camera, almost broke the windshield of my car.

I got a bunch of direct messages from that post. Smiley faces, or, Oh my gosh, did you hurt your head? That kind of thing. And it was a great example, I think, of showing the two types of teachers you run into in the martial arts.

You see some people posting clips where everything they do is perfect. Everything’s effective. They don’t slip. They don’t let go of something by accident.

Then you have the other clips where you see them maybe making mistakes, a type of teacher who let you see behind the curtain. And they’re working out and they’re struggling or they’re in rehab. Letting you know that they’re vulnerable sometimes.

Let’s go a little deeper into this. These two types of teachers. Because like I said, I’ve experienced both.

The first type of teacher I would call the “untouchable teacher”.

This would be the classic authority figure. They set themselves up almost like a god. Or maybe, to be fair, they don’t. Maybe the culture does. Maybe their students do. But they allow it.

So they put themselves in a position where respect in that environment is expected. It’s their name on the door. It’s their school. It’s their lineage. Maybe it’s their style. So you get in line and you say, yes, sir. You just do that. Like in a military setting, you may not know the general, but you salute the general.

The untouchable teacher is usually someone who’s not going to spar with you. They’re not going to roll with you. They’re not going to sweat with you. You’re not going to see them make mistakes. They’re not going to slip and hit their head. They’re not going to say whoops.

They’re not going to tell you if they don’t know something. They’re going to let you believe that they’ve got it all figured out. You’re not going to think that they’re out taking a class on the side learning anything more or that they’re watching videos. They seem like they’ve got it all under control.

So, that’s one type of teacher.

The other type of teacher I would call the “touchable teacher”.

I don’t want to get weird about this, but you know what I mean, it’s martial arts. This type of teacher, even if it is their name on the door and it is their style or their lineage, they make mistakes in front of you. They’re in the trenches with you. They sweat with you.

You can see that they’re still learning and discovering about themselves and about their techniques. They’ll tell you if they don’t know something. They’ll admit if they could do something better or they’ll say something like, Yeah, I’m still working on this or look what I’m working on.

This is a very different kind of teacher than the first one. In that environment, I find even though you may still treat them like a legend, like a god, you may bring that energy to them, but they usually laugh that off or they look down when you talk like that. And in that way, they earn your respect.

It’s not just expected, but you have this personal connection with them where you feel like I really like this person and I respect them. So it’s a little different. It’s not the military model so much or the religious model, if you like. It’s more of an interpersonal model.

Now like I said in the intro, there are pros and cons to both of these approaches…

For instance, it’s easy to bash authority figures, particularly when we’ve seen so many crumble, whether it’s in politics or religion. When you have an idol and then you see some scandal appear, you see their faults, you see their flaws, and then your faith in that system or that religion can be tested.

So it’s easy to jump on that bandwagon and say like, Yeah, all authority figures are garbage, and you shouldn’t put your faith into anybody. But there are some times when it’s appropriate.

So for instance, let’s say you’re working with kids. I work with kids. You don’t want a four-year-old to see you crying necessarily. You don’t want a four-year-old to come to your class and have you say, Yeah, I don’t know what exactly to do with bullies. I got a couple of ideas, but no guarantees, kid. I’m not sure this is always going to work.

With kids, you don’t necessarily want them to experience the chaos of life. They’re born into this chaos. And you’re trying to show them some structure, give them a sense of security, let them know that where they’re sleeping is still going to exist tomorrow, that they’re going to have a meal coming, that they can trust you, that they can come to you, that you’re a safe person to talk to. Children need that type of authority figure just to develop emotionally in a healthy way, I think.

Another context, let’s say you’re in the military and you’re on a mission of some kind. You’re in the battle zone. You don’t want a commander saying, Uh, you know, guys, I’m not sure which way to go here. Let’s roll the dice. Let’s go this way, whatever.

You don’t want to follow that guy. You want someone who’s going to stand and say, All right, men and women, grab your guns. We’re going this way. That’s what we’re doing. This is going to work. Victory is before us.

You say, Okay! Hey, maybe I don’t know what’s going on, but you sure seem to know what’s going on. And now I’m going to give you my best. That’s our best chance.

So I think in those two contexts, I think authority figures are very healthy. I’ll throw in one more. Even if you’re an adult, but you’ve had a chaotic life, maybe you’ve had abusive parents, maybe you didn’t have a lot of money, you’re on the streets for a while, maybe there was a lot of chaos. To find someplace that seems stable and secure and consistent can be very healing to you to build faith back in the world. It’s not all chaos, right?

I don’t want to make it sound like I just believe like it’s all chaos and there’s no meaning. No, I don’t believe that. But if you’ve come from that kind of background, that’s how you were raised. It might be very difficult for you to talk to people and connect with people. It might be very difficult for you to ask for help.

So finding an institution, whether that’s a religious group or a Facebook group or a martial arts channel, whatever that is, if someone can step forward and say, Hey, I’ve been there. Here are some things that have helped me, let me show you the way. That’s not so bad that someone has a guiding hand and can take you a few steps into the world of safety and security.

The question is, how far should you hold on to that hand? At what point do you finally let go and say, Okay, I got it now. Thanks for getting me back on the path. I can take it from here.

I said there’s touchable and untouchable teachers. But sometimes you might run into a teacher who’s confused about what role they’re playing. They may be a younger teacher, but they were raised in a system where they had an authority figure. So now that they’re turning around and starting to teach as a younger teacher, they just expect that they will be treated the way that they treated their authority figure teacher. Does that make sense?

It would be easy if I had an untouchable teacher. I’ve experienced that. I’ve had teachers where I was told, Don’t make eye contact with them. Don’t look at them directly. I had teachers, you just weren’t allowed to touch them. They might demonstrate on a senior student, but you would never go over and say, Could you do that on me?

Just not done. Inappropriate. Disrespectful.

So you might have a teacher raised under that type of culture who thinks, Okay, now it’s my turn. I’m going to start my group and, hey, everyone stand up. Look at me. I know everything. Don’t ask questions. How dare you talk to me in that way? We’re not buddies. I’m your teacher.

But the student’s feeling like, What are you talking about? You’re only like five years older than I am or ten years older than I am. I can see that you’re still working on skills. Yes, I see that you’re better than I am, but you’re not that great. You’re not a legend or anything. I haven’t seen what you do yet in depth. So take it down a notch. Earn my respect a little bit here. You’re not the wise old man on a hill that I’m just going to buy into yet.

So that can be a little conflict when your ego comes up and you just feel like, I’m the man, or the woman, or whatever you say nowadays. I’m the human, I’m the number one dog, whatever.

The big issue here, no matter how you cut this, is security.

I think as a martial arts student, you sign up because on some level you’re insecure about something. And I don’t mean in a bad way. I just mean there’s some doubts in you. Maybe it’s just about your physical fitness. You have some insecurities about the shape you’re in, or your stamina, or your health. You’re not sure if you’re going to live very long. So you’re just looking for some structured fitness activity to keep you healthy.

Okay, it could be a deeper insecurity. It could be that you want a father figure or a mother figure to guide you morally and physically and spiritually, and you’re looking for that sense of order in the chaos. That could be part of what you’re looking for.

It might be just very practical. It could just be self-defense. You just don’t feel particularly safe in your skin. Maybe you were bullied or you fear being bullied or you fear what you read in the papers all the time. So you say, Oh, that’s it. I got to learn how to fight and defend myself, defend my family, defend my friends.

These are all valid reasons to sign up for a martial arts course. The trouble would come if you’re not aware of which insecurities you’re trying to fill and which insecurities your teacher is trying to hide or they’re not even aware of.

So for instance, let’s say you are the type of person who really wants to learn some self-defense and you’re afraid of being attacked physically. So you find a teacher who’s very authoritarian in their teaching style and they say, This is it, this is how you get out of a choke. And you, searching for that security, say, Great, now I know how to get out of a choke.

But the teacher never lets you see how that technique sometimes doesn’t work, or sometimes there’s a different technique that might work better, or how sometimes you just apply principles and create something that’s never been done before, something you’ve never practiced before, but in a particular situation was the exact right thing to do.

An authoritarian style teacher doesn’t allow that room for you to create something on your own. They don’t want that chaos slipping into the system. They have to have all the answers. And therefore, I meet martial artists who talk like that. They say, Oh, I know how to do this, and I know how to do that. Well, I’m not worried because I’m a brown belt and they’re a green belt, so I can beat them.

They make these really, I think, overly confident statements that are a little detached from reality, because reality is more of a fun house. If you go to a fun house, like a haunted house, and you say up front, Hey, when you go in here, there are people loaded up inside these closets and around corners. They’re going to jump out and try to scare you.

Now when you walk into that fun house, you’re still going to get scared, right? You’re going to get scared, even though you know it’s coming, because you don’t know exactly when. But that’s not the same kind of fear you’re going to feel if you go into your real house, where you didn’t buy the ticket, you’re not expecting anyone to jump out of your closet, and then suddenly someone does jump out of your closet.

In some ways, I think the authority figure style teacher, the untouchable, prepares you for the fun house. They’re saying, Okay, well in this context, you’ve got an answer. You’ve got a preparation to deal with this situation. But they’re not giving you the tools to prepare if somebody really jumped out of your closet in your real house. It’s a little different situation.

So anyway, if you’re looking for that kind of security and that kind of order, then of course you’re going to be attracted to the authority style teacher, the untouchable. You’re going to want to believe that what they say is the golden standard, which relieves you of the responsibility for having to think for yourself, experiment for yourself, and do that extra work where you start finding out that there are no guarantees, that everything doesn’t work, that you’re going to still have to scramble sometimes and lose sometimes. You don’t get the delusion of thinking you’re always going to win, that you always have the answer.

So on the positive side, you get confidence. On the con side, it’s a limited confidence. It’s not a complete confidence. In some contexts, it would be a false confidence and that could get you hurt.

Now, on the other hand, let’s say you’re working with a touchable teacher. In that context, if you are someone looking for that security and that golden standard, then you’ll be disappointed with that teacher. You won’t feel satisfied. You’re not getting the answers that you want.

The teacher keeps looking back at you saying, Well, I’m still working on this, so let’s work on this together. And you’re thinking, No, I’m paying you to show me how to do this. And you might resent that kind of a teacher for not being able to step up and say, This is it, I got it all figured out for you. That’s a different kind of teacher.

Depending on what stage of life you’re in, and what level of insecurities you have, you’re going to find yourself attracted to these two different teachers at two different times, I think.

So, what kind of teacher are you with right now? Or what kind of teacher are you at this point? Are you aware of what you’re providing to your students? Do you see the value in letting them see you make mistakes? As a student, do you feel comfortable making mistakes?

All these issues just run into each other very, very quickly, in letting you see the bloopers. I don’t actually care for bloopers artistically, but I like them as a fan. Let me rephrase that. The whole point of art is to create a reality, and you want to believe in that reality.

If I watch Batman and I want to be inspired by Batman. I don’t want to go through that whole emotional journey, feel inspired, like, I can be a hero, I can use my powers for good, and then right after I have that experience, be shown how that’s not really Batman, and none of this is real, and they’re all just laughing, and they’re all just being paid to put on this show. To me, that ruins the whole artistic effect, the whole point of it.

So as a creator, I don’t like that. As a fan, looking for inspiration, I’m not a big fan of that. In that way, I guess I like the authority model in art. Show me something perfect. That’s what inspires me, something to shoot for. Not that I’ll reach it, but it’s something to shoot for.

But in real life, I am a fan of the blooper reel. I think in real life, I want to see what’s going on behind the scenes. How did you get to where you are? If you can do something that I want to do, I can’t possibly buy into the idea that you’re always going to be better than me, and I’ll never be as good as you. That’s another symptom that you run into with the untouchable style of teacher.

In one of the arts that I studied that was in that type of culture, the untouchables, the great grandmaster who is the legend, my teacher would talk about how his teacher was so much better than he was, that he’ll never be as good as his teacher. And then of course the way he presented himself, implied that I’ll never be as good as he was.

So very quickly you would see how the martial arts would get worse and worse and worse every generation, because if every teacher says, I’ll never be as good as my teacher, how long does that take before that entire art fizzles out and no one’s very good at anything anymore? The authority model just completely falls apart psychologically.

How can you have confidence, if you’re never as good as your teacher, nothing you do is good enough, nothing you do is perfect, nothing you do is the end, and your teacher is telling you that he felt the same way about their teacher, and that teacher felt the same about their teacher, and it’s always this yielding of all power to the person ahead of you. I’m not sure if that’s in the long term a very healthy mindset.

The opposite of that, with the touchable teacher, completely different psychological dynamic, right? If you’re the kind of teacher who has the goal to make your students better than you, now your art grows every generation. If my teacher can say that he was better than his teacher, as a compliment, saying, You know what, my teacher made a lot of mistakes and they fixed those mistakes and they passed down their lessons to me. They showed me where they had made errors and they helped me go even farther than they did.

Now of course, with humility, you probably won’t walk around talking about how you’re better than your teacher, but at some point, if you have a really cool teacher, they may say to you, You’ve gone beyond what I do. You may need to go seek another teacher at this point.

You hear stories like that in the historical text. One teacher talking about how they went and studied with this teacher for five years and learned all he could. They went to the next teacher and the Ronin would go around maybe from town to town challenging the teacher. If they were defeated, they would stay with that teacher until they got better, then go to the next town, something like that.

How exciting is that? You’re part of a lineage that’s improving and increasing the standards, improving the standards. So I think that’s the benefit of being a touchable style of teacher. When your students come into the room, they shouldn’t feel like they’ll never be as good as you. They shouldn’t fear making mistakes on the path to becoming better than you. It’s so much more beautiful when it’s the opposite.

They come into that room feeling like they have a chance at not just matching your skills, but taking them another step farther. And then with their students and their children going even farther and you’re the root of that tree, or at least you’re a branch of that tree. To me, I don’t know, I think that’s a healthier mindset to live with and to be part of, and to encourage.

A couple of other benefits of being a touchable style teacher…

Number one, it silences your critics. We all know, no matter what you do, no matter what kind of teacher you are, you’re going to have critics. But if you’re the first person to step up and say, Hey, I’m not that great at this, or Whoops, that was a mistake, or Hey, I can do that better, then you take away the ammo from your enemies or your critics to say, You screwed that up, or you don’t even know what you’re doing, or you don’t even do that well.

If you’re the first person to admit that, they have a lot less to say. It takes the steam out of their engine. That’s not to say you’re critic-proof, there’s always something. But I don’t mind when people say, Hey, Sensei Ando, you got big ears. That’s the best you got? Fantastic. I must be doing my job, because I’m calling out all my other mistakes first.

Another benefit, like I said, you are instilling a belief in your students that they can be better than you. When I was in the schools that had the culture of the untouchable, godlike grandmaster, it was really– I always felt nervous. I always felt insecure, because I knew I was never good enough. No matter what I did, if I was performing a form or sparring, there was always a little sneer, there was always a nope, nope.

Now I’m not talking about being a tough love kind of teacher who’s giving your student honest feedback and leaving room for improvement. But you know what I’m talking about here, right? It’s just this crushing belief system where you’re nothing and the legend is everything and you will never get near that level. That’s a horrible curse to put on your students.

So by being a touchable teacher– spar with your students, make mistakes in front of your students, roll with your students, sweat with your students, laugh with your students– you’re giving them that belief system and the encouragement to keep going because they see that they’re making progress. It’s so much easier to see.

I’ve taught many kids, right? And I’ll say, Okay, everybody, horse stance, and we all drop down. And some kids, I mean, their flexibility and their bone structure, whatever, they drop into that horse stance. And I will immediately say, Whoa, everybody, look over here. That horse stance is better than mine.

Now that is something my untouchable teachers never said and never thought about saying. It would destroy the whole thing. How could a student be better than a teacher at something? But if I see a child drop down to a full split, I’m going to say, Wow, good for you kid. You can do that better than I can.

Or I’ll say all the time, you guys are faster than I am. You guys bounce back faster than I do. You have more energy than I do. What’s wrong with that?

Touchable teachers are very happy calling out shortcomings and mistakes. Touchable teachers are very comfortable calling out positives, attributes, skills, all the things that are going well in the class. To me, that’s a really healthy kind of teacher, a good teacher.

What else? When you’re a touchable kind of teacher, it also gives you the freedom to keep learning and growing.

What’s wrong with telling your students that you’re taking a class on the side? Because, Hey, you know what? I’m not that great at ground fighting, so I signed up for a BJJ class. Why shouldn’t that inspire your students to keep learning as well? They see you learning. You’re the perfect role model. They will do as you do, not as you say, because they respect the process that they see you going through. Give yourself that freedom.

I knew of one teacher who was very charismatic, and the students would willingly try to worship him. They would go the extra mile with the respect and the bowing, and, Oh, you’re the best, and they would want to make him seem as if he was the untouchable. And he would do something kind of coarse, and I didn’t like it at the time, but I understand it better now and I respect it.

If he was starting a class or a seminar, he would trip, or burp. Yeah, belch. And when I eventually talked to him about it, that’s what he basically said. He said it makes him more approachable, it makes him more human, it takes him off the pedestal for a second. By purposely doing something a little sloppy, or just admitting a genuine mistake, or even going out of the way to let someone see, Yeah, I’m not perfect.

I’m not suggesting that you go around belching in front of your students. That was his choice. I don’t follow that one. But I have the freedom to create my own. But that’s just an example. To give yourself the freedom to make the mistakes, and trip, and fall, and have a bad day. That’s a huge relief right off the bat.

The last one I would say, the other big advantage to being a touchable teacher, I think you will receive more from the people around you.

That might sound selfish at first, so give me a second. What I mean is, if you present yourself as having all the answers, as knowing everything, as being completely self-contained, and that you don’t need anything, then no one will offer you anything. It’s as if you’re sitting there with a cake and someone’s got a cupcake– there’s no point in them coming over and saying, Oh, do you want this cupcake?

Nope, I’m good, I got a cake. Keep it. Eventually, they won’t even ask you if you want a cupcake. But what a horrible way to close the door on new opportunities, new lessons for yourself, for someone sharing a story with you that might inspire you again.

I have found, just in general, that when you’re the untouchable, then people will grant you that wish. They will stop touching you. They will stop even reaching out to you, to touch you. Because they just feel it’s a one-way street. You’re the one who’s providing something and they will take. But other than maybe money, paying tuition or your adoration and loyalty or your hard work, they don’t expect anything from you.

Therefore, you don’t even think about giving them something or sharing something. And that’s too bad because if you’re a student, student mind, even as a teacher, don’t you want to be open to those things?

Wouldn’t you like it if someone came to you and said, Hey, I saw this cool technique? Wouldn’t you like it if someone said, Hey, remember when you taught that breathing exercise? I tried it this way and what do you think about this? And how cool if you can say, You know what, I haven’t heard of that. Let me look into it. Let me try.

I just think the value of that for yourself, forget about your students for a minute, but as the teacher, that’s huge. You are back on the path to learning, which only gives you more to teach down the road. So ultimately, you’re giving your students more by allowing yourself to be open enough to receive from them in the first place. It’s a beautiful little cycle.

All right, so I’ve babbled enough. I just wanted to , not so much judge, but classify, identify two types of teachers in the martial arts and perhaps in everything. The ones who want you to believe they’ve got it all figured out– there’s a time and place for that, like I said. I think it’s a nice short-term style of teaching.

I think you can help a lot of people by letting them believe that you are the source, that you have some answers, that you can get them on track, that you can be trusted to take their hand and take them a few steps into a healthier way of living.

But I think in the long-term, you’re going to want to have the freedom to open up that curtain, open the kimono, so to speak. I wish I hadn’t used that phrase. Open the gi. No, keep your gi closed. Keep the kimono closed, okay? Never mind.

I think in the long-term, you’re going to want to be the style of teacher who is touchable, who is approachable, who can sit down after a class with the students. You can towel off and have a drink and just say, Wow, here’s what I learned today, or Here’s what I’m working on. Here’s what I’m going to do differently next time.

I think in the long-term, that will earn you respect. I think in the long-term, that will be a far healthier way to live your life. You’re not going to worry about getting caught making a mistake or saying the wrong thing. Give yourself that freedom.

Bottom line here, before we go, share your wisdom and share your mistakes. Because when you share your mistakes, you’re letting everyone know how you gained the wisdom. They go together.

Show them how you can spin that staff. Show them how you drop the staff. And then show them how you laugh, you pick that staff back up, and you start spinning it all over again. When you have that balance, I believe you’ve got a winning strategy for a happy life.

All right, I hope you’re fired up to get out there and make some big mistakes. Just don’t forget to laugh at them. If you have something to say about today’s show, why don’t you drop by fightforahappylife.com and leave me a comment.

Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.