Smash Through the Maze Between You and Your Goals

My wife and I recently met up with our family for breakfast. I wound up seated between my nephew and nieces, ages five, eight, and 10. On the table was a cup of crayons and paper placemats with games and activities to keep the kids, and their uncle, busy.

And if you think this uncle was going to let those kids beat him at anything, you’re crazy!

After I crushed them in the word search, we came to a maze. I wasn’t sure if they knew how a maze worked, so, I started explaining the rules…

“You put your crayon here at the top, then you have to–“

“Done.” The 10-year-old slammed down her crayon.

Impossible. I inspected her placemat. She had drawn a line straight from the start to the finish.

No thought. No rules. No worries.

I scowled. “No, you can’t–“

Too late. She had already moved on to stuff her cheeks with bacon, quite pleased with herself.

Then it hit me–she was right! Why wait for me to tell her the rules? Why wait for me to make things difficult? She saw a solution and executed without hesitation.

Good for her!

The bitter taste of defeat mixed in with my oatmeal got me thinking…

How often do we make things difficult for ourselves when we don’t have to? How often do we take a simple goal and turn it into a maze of problems?

Have you ever considered taking a new direction in life, then immediately talked yourself out of it? Have you ever gotten excited about a new idea, then immediately buried it underneath a pile of rules, restrictions, and reasons it won’t work?

How often do we fail before we even start?

Imagination is our greatest friend and our greatest foe. The same imagination that can run wild and create new ideas, new goals, and a new life is the same imagination that can run wild and create fears, difficulties, and a vision of disaster.

Imagination is a dream-maker and a dream-killer.

For me, the martial arts have been the most powerful way to keep the voice of the dream-killer quiet. If you’re sparring or grappling with someone and fear the worst, you freeze up. And when you freeze up, you either get knocked out or choked out.

When it comes to fighting, you are forced to stay in the moment, see things for what they are, take action, and keep moving forward.

The dream-killer says, “I might miss. I might get hit. I might lose. I might die.”

The dream-maker sees openings and opportunities, feels confident, and makes the moves. Punch. Kick. Grab. The dream-maker may not always get what it wants, but it’s always willing to try.

Listen to the voice of the dream-maker. The dream-maker knows things don’t always work out the way you plan them. It also knows that thinking about what can go wrong is a waste of time.

While the dream-killer is busy thinking up problems, the dream-maker is busy thinking up solutions.

And here’s the cold, hard truth: If you listen to the dream-killer and stop throwing punches because you’re afraid of getting hit, you’ll still get hit! At least go down swinging.

The philosopher Soren Kierkegaard has a great line related to this topic. He wrote–

Trouble is the common denominator of living. It is the great equalizer.

Yep. You’re not special because you hit a wall. Everyone everywhere runs into a maze of obstacles. We all face difficulties, but only some of us are willing to push ahead to succeed. Success comes from taking action in spite of risks and difficulties. And the sooner you take action, the sooner you’ll succeed. That’s how you become a maze-smasher, not a maze-builder.

Who are the maze-builders? Maze-builders are the ones who suck the life out of any idea. They’re the ones who throw up walls to keep you going in circles. They’re the ones who would rather not play than take a chance at losing.

The maze-builder is the guy at the meeting who, as soon as someone presents a new idea, stands up and shoots it down. They spit up reasons why it won’t work. How much trouble it would be. How, with all due respect, the idea is crazy. And if no one is willing to fight back, everyone believes him…and the idea dies.

The maze-builder is the guy who says, “I’m not being cynical, I’m just being realistic.” People who say that think they’re so smart. But they’re not. Any idiot can think up reasons why something won’t work. It takes zero creativity or insight or analysis to find flaws in a plan. Finding solutions, on the other hand, taking chances, building something, and creating fresh approaches is real work.

When people say they’re not being cynical, just realistic, what they’re really saying is their reality is cynical. Ignore them. Their reality does not have to be yours.

Anyone who’s ever taught self-defense has met maze-builders. It never fails. You show a technique and immediately a hand shoots up, “Yeah, but what if—” Ugh. They haven’t even tried the technique yet, but they already see a problem. Again–they think they sound smart, but to a maze-smasher they only sound scared…

Scared of trying. Scared of learning. Scared of making a mistake. Scared of standing on their own. Scared of a chaotic universe that guarantees them nothing. Scared of being surrounded by a boundless void that contains no rules, no structure, no security. In short—maze-builders are scared of life.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying there’s no place for a discussion of pros and cons. I’m not saying you should never take time for a careful analysis of risks and benefits. What I’m saying is ideas are fragile. They need protection. They need time to grow and put down some roots before you stomp on them.

I’m not going to go down the list of all the crazy ideas throughout history that turned out to be strokes of genius…you know what they are. Just remember this: Every idea is crazy… until it works.

I’m also not saying you should deny the obstacles in your way, or ignore them. But the big lesson from my niece was to take action before any obstacles have a chance to stop you.

Nike says, Just Do It. I say, Just Do It Now.

Start before you hear how not to do it. Start before you talk yourself into believing you can’t do it. Run as far as you can before you stop to figure out how you got there.

In self-defense, you’ll hear this joke all the time–

Question:What’s the best defense for a headlock?
Answer: Don’t get in one.

Prevention beats a cure every time. In self-defense, the earlier you start your defense, the easier it will be. The more time you give an attacker to control you, the tougher it’s going to be to recover and escape.

The same rule applies to saving money, dealing with toxic employees, getting screened for a disease… in almost every case, the earlier you take action, the better.

Of course, taking action requires faith. Not faith in your idea or your plan, necessarily, but faith in yourself! You’ve got to trust yourself to figure things out along the way. Even when you have no plan. Thinking you must have a plan before starting after your goals presents two dangers–

First: You’re wasting time. You will go nowhere if you wait around for the perfect, foolproof plan to materialize. Why? Because there’s no such thing as a perfect, foolproof plan. Pretending there is just gives you an excuse to never do anything.

Second: You’re overlooking the importance of the experience you’ll gain from taking the first step. Even if you think you have a foolproof plan, you’re going to hit walls and change your plans. The only step you can be sure of is the first one. Once you take the first step, you’ll gain the information you need to plan a smart second step.

So, the formula for success is very simple:

1) Figure out what you want
2) Figure out the first step to getting what you want
3) Take the first step

That’s it. Don’t strain your eyes trying to look too far down the road ahead, because the future is foggy. You can’t see the future, you can only imagine it. The dream-maker and the maze-smasher welcome the unknown and charge ahead. The dream-killer and the maze-builder go home and watch TV.

You want to write a book? Write the first page. It doesn’t have to be perfect. If you’ve ever written anything, you already know it WON’T be perfect. You’re going to rewrite it anyway. The sooner you get started, the better.

You want to work out for an hour, but don’t really feel like it, or don’t have a workout plan? Go to the gym. Just go there. One thing will lead to another. Even if you only exercise for 10 minutes, that’s more than you would’ve done sitting at home thinking about it.

No matter what you want in life, take the first step and let fate meet you halfway.

WARNING: One of the maze-builders’ greatest tricks is to get you to focus on a problem that doesn’t need to be solved. The maze-builder wants you to hit a wall and just stare at it. The maze-builder wants you to get so caught up trying to figure out how to get through the wall–or blaming yourself for running into it–that you forget you can turn around and move in another direction.

Don’t let problems distract you from solutions.

We all love the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana Jones is running through the bazaar and comes face to face with a swordsman. As the swordsman flips the sword around to threaten and challenge Indy, Indy pulls out a gun, shoots him, and moves on.

Even when we’re carrying a gun, it’s so easy to get pulled into a swordfight. It’s so easy, I’d say it’s human nature. We seem to be hardwired to obsess over problems instead of simply stepping back to transcend them. Why do we allow ourselves to get pulled so far off-track? Two thoughts–

First: FEAR. I believe deep down, we all know we have the power to achieve almost anything. But that power is scary. It conjures up a fear of change. A fear of losing what we have even if what we have is not what we want.

The desire to keep things the way they are is often stronger than the desire to try something new. So, we create difficulties and dramas to disrupt the process. Or we allow other people to create difficulties and dramas. Either way, we build a maze because a maze is a safe place to hide and hold on to what we have.

Second: EGO. Working hard makes us feel proud of ourselves. Sometimes, we’d rather work hard and not reach our goals than reach our goals with ease. Especially here in America, we’re trained from an early age to link self-esteem to our work ethic. There’s real social currency in working late or putting in extra hours to make a deadline.

Don’t you want people to think of you as a hard-worker? Don’t your family and friends want to brag about you as being a hard-worker? If you’re not working hard, why would your boss give you a raise or a promotion? Why would your clients give you a referral?

Working hard, or looking like you’re working hard–which is sometimes more work than actually working hard—is a powerful addiction that can suck away our energy and time and keep us from reaching our true goals.

In the same way that life will build a maze between you and your goals, life will find ways to make you work hard. Success is never easy. So, not only shouldn’t you build your own maze, you shouldn’t make extra work for yourself, either.

It’s crucial to figure out what deserves your effort and what doesn’t. There is no shame in working smarter. Or in using the best tools and technology you can afford. Or in delegating. Or asking for advice. Or help. Lighten your load whenever possible so you’ll have more energy to handle the difficulties you don’t see coming.

One more quote. This one comes from writer Lin Yutang.

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”

For me, eliminating the non-essentials is the same as smashing through the walls of your maze. To do so, get rid of anything that’s wasting your time, your energy, and your enthusiasm. Cut away the energy-suckers, the emotion-drainers, and drama-creators. Don’t let anyone or anything dampen your spirits or your efforts.

And that includes you. You put up walls every time you hesitate, doubt yourself, make excuses, wait for the perfect time, or listen to the voice of the dream-killers and maze-builders. Take responsibility. Ultimately, you’re the final word on what’s part of your journey and what’s not.

Promise yourself that you will smash through the mazes in your life. That you will protect your ideas from being stomped. That you will trust yourself. That you will take the first step.

Action begets acumen. Movement begets momentum. Throw the punch. Write the page. Make the call.

What’s the secret to smashing through the maze between you and your goals? Don’t get in one.

Just pick up your crayon and draw a line straight to the finish.

This article is a summary of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Smash Through the Maze.” Listen to the full episode here.