Lesson #3: Stance and Breathing

Welcome to Lesson #3 in your Self-Defense Basics Course!

Want the short version? Stand up straight and take a deep breath!

Want the long version? Watch the video or read the transcript! 🙂

SELF-DEFENSE BASICS COURSE

Lesson #3 – Transcript

Hey. Ando again from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to Lesson #3 in your Self-Defense Basics Course.

As you already know, self-defense is more than just learning a few slick moves, it’s a lifestyle. So, let’s talk about two more exercises that you can do all day, every day—stance and breathing.

STANCE

Stance. No, I’m not talking about striking a fancy pose like a horse stance or a cat stance—not today, anyway. I’m talking about how you’re sitting or standing right now.

The truth is you’re always in a stance. The only question is: Is your stance putting you in a good position to think, move, and fight or a bad position?

Quick—look at yourself. Is your back straight? Is your head aligned with your spine?

Admit it—whether you’re sitting or standing right now, I’ll bet you’re not as straight as you could be. And that’s a problem!

I don’t just mean because you’re causing yourself neck and back pain, I mean because you’re building a habit of limiting your mobility and your power.

Seriously—there’s no point learning how to punch and kick if you haven’t mastered sitting and standing yet. A tense and crooked body just means you’re going to throw tense and crooked punches.

So, at the risk of sounding like your mother, sit up straight! Stand up straight! And take your dishes to the sink. I’m not your maid. 🙂

In Lesson #1, I recommended that you make yourself comfortable. Well, when it comes to your stance, that means filling the space that you were born to fill.

Don’t hold yourself smaller than you really are and don’t hold yourself bigger than you really are.

Just be you. But that’s not always so easy.

When we’re intimidated, nervous, in pain, when someone yells at us, shoves us, or even just looks at us aggressively, as nice people, we naturally shrink. Our spirit shrinks and our body shrinks with it.

NO! We must consider that the first battle line in self-defense. We cannot allow anything outside to shrink us inside.

Shrinking not only reduces your power, it sends out a signal to everybody that you are not a fighter. You know what I’m talking about..

If your head is down, your shoulders are rolled forward, your hands are tied up, your feet are close together, you don’t want to talk to anybody… you look weak and afraid.

These are the physical symptoms of fear, pain, shame, embarrassment, and and insecurity… and guess what? That’s exactly who the bad guys are looking for to beat and abuse!

I mean, think about it—if you were a bad guy, who would you go after?

But what if you’re standing tall with your chin straight?

What if you’re paying attention with your hands free?

What if you actually have the guts to smile and say hello?

These are the physical symptoms of strength, confidence, courage, and happiness… and guess what? That’s exactly the kind of person most bad guys don’t want to deal with. That’s the kind of person who’s ready to think, move, and fight.

I say “most” bad guys because some people just want to wipe that cocky smile right off your face. Trust me on that. My advice? Keep the smile, but tone down the cocky.

So, take up too little space, you look weak. Take up too much space, you look like a jerk. Bad guys will find both of you!

Make it a habit to fill your space—just your space. Let your stance tell the whole world what kind of person you really are.

TWO PRIORITIES

Standing tall can absolutely help you prevent trouble, but if you still find yourself being threatened or attacked, there are two priorities I want you to keep in mind at all times—

Protect your head and stay on your feet!

Of course, all rules have exceptions, but when it comes to the physical fighting techniques of self-defense, those two rules are the most important.

You’re tough. Tougher than you think. You can take a hit to any part of you body and keep fighting… uh, except your head. I don’t care who you are—one good shot to the coconut or one good squeeze to the throat and you might end up out cold… maybe forever.

So, if anything comes near your head or throat—a strike, a grab, a weapon—knock it away or pull it off immediately.

If you’re being threatened, make it a habit to put your hands up and your chin down. I don’t mean bending your head over so much that your spine is compressed and curled up.

Remember, I always want to be straight and comfortable. But I also don’t want my chin to stick out where it’s easy to get knocked out or my throat exposed where it’s easy to get grabbed or slashed.

So, find that sweet spot where you can drop your head just enough to be comfortable but protected.

Let’s talk about the hands. When I say put your hands up I mean here—in front of you with your elbows down, not flaring out. I want these strong bones between me and the bad guy.

Here’s an easy way to set your position. My hands aren’t up or down, they’re in the middle. They’re not in or out, they’re in the middle. They’re not wide or together, they’re in the middle.

From here, I’m ready for anything. If something is thrown at my head, I can raise my hands up. If someone is trying to tackle me, I can drop my hands lower. From here, I’m ready for anything.

I also recommend keeping your hands open.

If I can’t escape a threat, my next tactic is to talk my way out of it. Open hands tells the bad guy and anybody who might be watching and recording with their phone, “Hey—I’m prepared to defend myself, but I’d rather make peace.”

If you make fists right away, you’re only giving yourself one option—time to fight. Open hands means peace is still an option.

Plus, don’t forget—you can still push or smash a bad guy right in the face with open hands. So, from here, you’re ready to fight even if you don’t look like it.

Okay. So, priority number one, protect your head. Priority number two, stay on your feet!

If I’m on my feet, I always have the ability to move and to run. If I hit the dirt, my options are reduced dramatically.

Yes, I know you can fight on the ground, and hey—you might have to—but if I have a choice, I’d rather stand.

Believe me, lying on the ground curled up in the fetal position praying that this bunch of jerks gets tired of kicking and stomping you is a terrible self-defense strategy. Unless you’re a groundhog and really good at digging tunnels.

FIGHTING STANCE

So, how should we stand if we’re being attacked?

If you watch combat sports like boxing, Muay Thai, or wrestling, you’ll notice that they all stand in different ways. That’s because each sport has rules that either allow or disallow specific styles of attack.

But in self-defense, there are no rules, which means I have to be ready for any type of attack.

So, here’s what I recommend…

Start by setting one foot in the front and one foot in the back. Not too wide, not too close—in the middle.

I can talk from here, I can push from here, I can kick from here, and yeah, I can run from here.

Now, we’ll be working from this stance more in the next video, but for now, just practice stepping to this stance as quickly as you can. Let me give you a couple more details…

Setting one foot behind you will help prevent being rocked on to your heels or dropped on to your butt.

It also makes it easier to pivot your body. I don’t want my feet on the same line where I’m locked into a position where all of my soft targets are open—wide open!—to strikes and takedowns. By having one foot in the back, I can naturally turn and change angles.

Now, you might be thinking, “Hey—if that’s so great, why not just stand sideways? In this position, all of my soft targets are taken away from my attacker.”

That’s true. But I’ve also taken away one of my hands and I don’t like that. I’m looking for the best of both worlds.

I’d like to be able to face my attacker and have the freedom to move and change angles. I also want both of my hands right up here in the front where—dare I say—they may come in “handy”.

All right. Next…

Make sure you have one foot on the left and one foot on the right.

How wide? Just use the width of your body as a guideline. Anything wider than that and it starts to get tricky to move around. Just focus on keeping your feet under you and feeling stable.

Now, I’m serious about this. If you find yourself with your feet crossed up, or lined up, or your feet are spread far apart, or pushed too close together, well—I hope you have good health insurance.

Let’s take one more look at the feet. Specifically, the back foot. It’s very common to see people turn their back foot away from the direction they’re facing. They drag that leg around like they’re a zombie.

I don’t know why! As human beings, we don’t walk that way, we don’t run that way, we don’t jump that way, it makes no sense to try to defend ourselves that way!

So, please, train yourself to point your feet—both of your feet—in the direction that you’re facing. Don’t shuffle around like your leg is broken.

One more thing—bend your knees. You always want to be able to absorb force and deliver force, but you can’t do either of those things if your knees are locked out. It’s like walking around on a pair of stilts.

So, unless you were raised in the circus, you’re better off dropping down and engaging the powerful muscles of your legs. They should feel like springs.

That’s not only going to help you with your balance and mobility, it’s going to give you a headstart for every self-defense technique you’re ever going to need.

BREATHING

Okay. Enough about structure. Let’s talk about the fuel that powers that structure. I’m talking about breathing.

Look—it doesn’t matter what kind of car you drive, if you have no gas in the tank, you’re not going anywhere. So, now that you’ve fixed your stance, let’s take a look under the hood and see how you’re breathing.

You’ve been breathing every moment of your life since you were born… even while you’re sleeping. You’d think that with all that practice, we’d be really good at breathing by now, but the truth is most of us are not!

I mean, you’re still alive—yay!—so you must be doing something right, but I’ll bet just like your posture, you could be taking a little more control and building better habits.

What happens to your breathing when you get upset? Stressed out?

What about when you get angry or scared? Or you slam your finger in a door?

I’ll bet the way you’re breathing right now is not the same way you’d be breathing if you found out your best friend was spreading lies about you. Or if somebody got in your face and started yelling at you.

And if somebody slapped you upside the head and shoved you into a wall, I’ll bet there’s a chance you would freeze up and stop breathing completely.

We can not let that happen! If you let anything or anyone freeze your breath or even shorten your breath, then you are giving up some of your power to think, move, and fight.

Your goal is to keep breathing like you’re having the best day ever, even when you’re not. Catch your breath before someone takes it from you.

Try this. Think of your body as a hot air balloon. When it feels like life is folding you up and trying to tie you down, use your breath as the fire to fill yourself back up.

I know—I’m full of hot air. Got it. Okay, wise guy, but did you know that the word “inspire” literally means to “breathe in”? That’s right.

The secret to inspiration is inspiration.

So, the next time you’re feeling low on energy, or you’re getting sucked into an argument, or someone is crowding you, or causing you pain, take a breath—take a few breaths.

Strengthen your structure. Build your stance. Keep breathing until you can fill the space you were born to fill and withstand whatever’s pressing up against you. That’s the fuel you need to speak your mind and stand your ground.

I know—standing up straight and taking a deep breath don’t sound like very “cool” or flashy lessons, but I promise you, when it comes to self-defense and living the best life possible, they’re both crucial.

And don’t get me wrong—I know slouching feels good sometimes. I’m getting old. I do it, too. I just want you to be aware of what you’re giving up when you do it.

I also want you to recognize that every time you sit up a little straighter or stand up a little straighter, you’re practicing martial arts.

Every time you take a deep breath and fill your space, you’re practicing martial arts.

Look—you may never be able to do a full split or land a 720 Cyclone Scissor Kick, but you can sure as heck master your posture and your breathing. So, do it.

Remember this—you are a creature of this earth just like any other. You have a right to be here.

So, don’t let anything or anyone shrink you. When someone mocks you, threatens you, or strikes you, they’re trying to make you feel small and insignificant. They want you to forget how powerful you really are.

When that happens, when you find yourself under attack, when you feel yourself shrinking, when it seems like the whole world is out of control, focus first on what you can control—you.

Straighten up and take a breath.

The fact is no self-defense technique works if you’re small and scared, but every self-defense technique has a chance of working when you fill your space and take a breath.

So, train yourself all day, every day to remember how brave and powerful you really are.

If you liked this video, I ask that you share it with someone you love. I’ll see you again in Lesson #4.

Until then, take a breath, and keep fighting for a happy life.