The question of how to reduce fear in sparring or a real-life fight is a common one. That’s because it’s completely natural to be afraid of getting hurt, crippled, or killed.
So, how can martial artists increase their confidence not just in class, but out there in the real world? Well, I’ve got two tips that might help!
Take a look at the video below or scroll down for the written version. Then let me know if you have any tips to help me reduce fear during a fight. Especially with a shark! 🙂
How to Reduce Fear in Sparring and Fighting
Let’s start with the topic of real fights. For me, the secret to controlling your fear in a real fight is simple—
Only fight for a worthy cause. A cause you’re willing to die for.
If I see two dudes jump on my mother or my wife, fear is not an issue. I will fight anybody to the death. Preferably, theirs.
Now, that doesn’t make me special. I’m no tough guy. I’m sure you would do the same thing.
So, the big question is— if you’re not afraid to fight for other people, why are you afraid to fight for yourself? Don’t you believe you’re a cause worth fighting for?
If you don’t believe your life is a cause worth fighting for, we should really sit down and talk. If you aren’t interested in pie and coffee, then make some time to listen to this podcast instead: Your Right to Fight.
But if you do believe you’re worth defending, then there’s nothing to worry about. If you have to fight, you’ll fight. Period.
It’s only when you don’t have to fight, or you’re not sure why you’re fighting, or you’re fighting for the wrong reasons, that fear and confusion get in the way.
So, my tip to reduce fear during a real fight is to get your priorities straight and figure out exactly which causes you will fight to the death for and which ones you won’t.
The greater the cause, the sharper the claws.
Now let’s talk about sparring. The most obvious tip to reduce your fear of sparring is to just keep sparring. Get in there and face your fears. The more you spar, the less you’ll be afraid of it.
But let’s be honest—that tip sucks! You want a tip that can help you right now, not a year from now. Okay—here you go!
The main reason we get scared during sparring is because we’re overwhelmed. We have no control over anything. You’re taking hits, you can’t see what’s going on, and you have no idea how to stop the attack. All of which leads to wanting to run and hide… which is completely normal!
So, if you find yourself curling up like a baby during sparring, that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. (Of course, curling up like a baby is nothing to be proud about, either, so let’s fix that!)
The trick is overcome feeling overwhelmed is to give your brain something to think about.
For example, when you’re about to spar, tell yourself to control your breathing. Don’t worry about punches or kicks. Just focus on your breathing.
Got that? Good. Next time you spar, tell yourself to keep your eyes open without flinching. No matter what happens, try to see everything that’s happening.
Got that? Good. Next time you spar, tell yourself to keep your hands up and protect your head at all times.
See how this works? You are slowly taking control of your sparring by giving your brain specific assignments. In my opinion, the three examples above would be a smart start. Work on your breathing, seeing, and protecting your head.
Here’s the big idea— you can’t improve everything at the same time. There are just too many skills to work on. Your brain is terrible at multitasking, but it’s incredibly powerful when you focus it on one skill at a time.
If you don’t give your brain assignments, then it’s free to run wild and react to anything that gets thrown at it. That approach to sparring will get you beat up over and over again.
Instead, approach your sparring like a meditation. The kind of meditation where you stare at a candle or simply listen to a bell. Put your full attention on one thing.
The more you control something, the less you’ll fear everything.
Once you’re able to breathe, see, and protect yourself, you can start to add whatever techniques and tactics you like… just do it one at a time!
Maybe you spend a whole class just working on your jab. Or maybe you work on your footwork to stay away from your partner’s power hand. Then maybe you try setting up a fancy combination that you want to make your trademark move. Whatever!
The moves are up to you, but the principle stay the same— give your brain something to thing about. That’s the fastest way to build good habits, reduce fear, and increase true confidence.
Hi Ando
Another great video! Your website offers such a wealth of resources for martial artists!
I was wondering if you could do a podcast or video on different types of sparring. Why? Together with a friend I recently set up a local non-profit martial arts and self-defense forum where martial artists from various backgrounds meet every second or third week to exchange ideas and train together. Our main interest lies in self-defense training under “realistic” conditions, which we feel involves training with a non-cooperative partner.
However, we have noticed that self-defense training with a non-cooperative partner can easily become point fighting: The training partners circle each other and wait for a good opportunity to strike while not getting hit. After a successful attack (of defense) both try to quickly get back into a safe distance. This is not bad per se but not really realistic in a self-defense context.
I am wondering if you have some advice how falling into the “point fighting trap” can be avoided and how you can engage in “self-defense sparring”. Any input is greatly welcome!
Best
Nico
Hi Nico!
That is a great topic. I know exactly what you mean. I’ve never been a fan of point sparring, so I either 1) trash talk to make them more aggressive, or 2) just keep attacking and make them stop me!
Of course, both of those ideas can lead to tempers flaring, so what I do with my students is set a goal of controlling your opponent, not just touching your opponent. You don’t get a “point” until I’m either on the ground or you’re holding me securely. That way, the “point” is just a way to start your fight… you still have to follow up and finish.
See if anyone wants to play that game. Maybe you can do one round their way and one round your way.
Just know you’re right and they’re all wrong! 🙂
I always tell others to have a plan. If you go in with a simple plan of what you want to do, you’ll not only be a better fighter, but the mere attempt of executing your plan will give you something to think about besides fear.
Yes, yes, a thousand times, YES! That is excellent advice, Ron. Now if only people would listen! 🙂
Thanks for the comment, sir!
Hi Sensei Ando
Nice suggestions there!
I never really had a real street fight and hope to keep that record 🙂 Also, I was rather scared of sparring senior grades in the dojo and I still feel nervous about it after three years. That went down considerably after a sixth dan just pushed me really hard. I was terrified for a good five minutes and felt his punches going in like hammers on my body. I felt completely lost but I noticed two things: that he knew how to hurt without damaging and that his head hits were actually just soft touches. So already in the last couple of minutes I realised that he was actually teaching me to stand my ground and raise my guard and I was able to return some – not that he felt that :-D. And although I did have a few bruises here and there I realised that the pain was quite bearable and it was actually the fear itself making it feel much worst than it was.
Since then I am actually more worried fighting lower grades, that is the only times I got any form of injuries! Because of their (our) lack of control!
Thanks for your tips!
Hi Alessandro!
There is so much truth in your comment! Fear really does make pain worse. Get rid of the fear, get rid of the pain. Most of it anyway!
And you’re right about lower belts– white belts are dangerous! Not just because they lack control sometimes, but because we take it easy on them and try to go light. The solution is to treat them like anybody else, while exercising control… like that 6th dan did for you.
Keep punching, sir!
Osu! I’ve been there… Man, how I’ve been there! And you’re right – the tip “just keep sparring” is pretty useless if one wants help right now, not something that will bear fruit a year from now. I love your advice to work on one thing then slowly add. I’m at a place right now where I’m feeling like my sparring isn’t exactly stellar, so that’s good advice for me too. Oh, and I’m happy to report that one of my favorite sparring partners is someone who I was scared of a couple of years ago 🙂
OSU, JO!
I think focusing on one new thing at a time is ALWAYS a good idea, even if you’re a master! Of course, sometimes you can let it all go and just feel your way through a round, but if you’re trying to gain NEW skills, it requires the discipline to experiment and observe results.
Always happy when you drop by, Karate Mama! Keep fighting! 🙂
Osu, Ando – thank you 🙂
Hi, I sometimes feel fear, other times not.
I sometimes experiment, other times I feel lost.
Why do you think that is?
I am doing the challenge btw:)
Hi Gyorgyi! Because that’s life! 🙂 We all have our ups and downs, breakthroughs and setbacks. The trick is to just keep going and trust yourself. Keep fighting!
Hi Ando Sir,
I have already being learning a lot from you.
But while I get ready to fight to someone ,
I start shivering a bit and slowly I feel overwhelmed .
Can you help me get out of this shivering please?
Hi again, Pranav! What kind of fights are you getting into exactly? You mean in martial arts class? No matter what, a little shivering is just your body getting ready for action. Just breathe and focus your mind on what you’re going to do. Be safe!
Thank you sir for the advice .
I’ll go for it next time.
Actually the fight I am talking is about the
Seniors in college or a bad guy from class.
What do you think on this stated below?
Do not start a fight untill the touches it hits me and simply the fight can be avoided by a talk.
Hi Pranav! I agree that fights should be avoided whenever possible. But when they can’t, fight hard! Stay safe!