Thank You, Pain: Why Injuries Are Good for You

If you train in the martial arts, you’re going to suffer injuries. How much you suffer is up to you. It all depends on your attitude about pain.

Why Injuries Are Good for You

The first time I got hurt was during college. I met a girl—a pretty girl!—who had never done martial arts. Being a hot-blooded show-off, I decided to show her how to do a forward roll.

(Is a forward roll an appropriate move for a beginning lesson in self-defense? No! But it’s a perfect move when you’re peacocking.)

To my horror, she was not impressed with my smooth moves. I panicked. I needed to add more pizzazz.

I announced I would demonstrate a diving front roll. I ran across the court…jumped as high and as far as I could…

…and as I flew through the air, it suddenly occurred to me that up until this moment, I had only practiced diving rolls on mats. And now I was looking down at the hard wood floor of a racquetball court.

Huh.

CRUNCH! I smashed my shoulder into the floor. She didn’t see that, of course. All she saw was me roll over and nail the landing like an Olympic gymnast.

Even though I wanted to die on the spot, I played it cool. I swallowed my screams and moved on to a new move, hoping she wouldn’t notice my arm dangling from my tee shirt like a sausage.

Side note: That pretty girl eventually became my wife. Let that be a lesson, my friends–showing off and hiding your pain is a winning dating strategy.

Here’s the point. In that moment of blinding pain, I learned more about how to do a forward roll than in the years of practice that had come before. How to tuck my head, where I put my hands, how I breathe, how I time my landing—everything I learned about rolls changed in that one instant. Since then, I have rolled thousands of times, on mats, wood, pavement, and never hurt my shoulder again.

So, who gets the credit for teaching me how to roll? Professor Pain. The good professor and his assistants, Shock and Embarrassment. I hate to say it, but pain is the quickest, most effective, and most honest teacher I’ve ever met. Admitting that makes me a little uncomfortable. Here’s why…

When it comes to pain, I have two more ugly, dark confessions to make. Before I share them, let me state for the record that I love my teachers. I also love my training partners. I’ve been blessed to find kind-hearted and good-humored people in every school I’ve ever joined. But…

DARK CONFESSION #1: Despite all the guidance of my teachers and the cooperative spirit of my training partners, it’s the people who hurt me who have taught me the most. The jerks. The bullies. The bad guys. Some in real-life, some in classes and seminars.

Isn’t that awful? I remember the reckless, careless jerks, some of whom I only met once, better than I remember the responsible, caring people I have known for years.

It gets worse…

DARK CONFESSION #2: Each of the moments I caused someone pain–either by accident or occasionally on purpose—is as clear in my memory as the moments when I got hurt. Why?

Pain has a way of making memories like no other experience.

For each injury I experienced or caused, I can remember exactly how it happened, how I reacted, how they reacted, the motion, the pressure, the time of day, the room temperature–everything. Injuries are a gold mine of information.

Sure, I’m capable of learning without pain. I can practice with a trusted friend. I can sit down to reflect on my teacher’s advice. I can flip through my notebooks and recall a million techniques. All good.

But when it comes to the lessons learned from pain, I don’t have to review anything. Those lessons are in the front of my brain all the time!

Pain taught me to pay attention. Go with the flow. Keep it simple. Don’t get cocky. Pain taught me to punch, kick, lock, sweep, throw, and fall in more detail than any book, drill, or teacher ever could.

I talked about this in “Master Teacher: Are You Giving Students Your Best?” The point was if you want to teach a student to keep his hands up, you can either tell him how, over and over, a million times, or you can punch him in the face once or twice. That’s the power of pain.

I hate to say that because I don’t want to see my students get hurt. Hey–I don’t want to get hurt, either! But the fact is pain is a shortcut, it’s a hack, to getting better faster.

Pain forces people to remember things, whether they want to or not.

I know that sounds harsh. But life is harsh. Without pain, stress, and fear, we’d all have been eaten by lions a long time ago.

Pain is good. Pain is natural. Pain is life’s way of saying, “Hey—pay attention to this. There’s a lion eating your leg.” Pain is your body’s way of pushing you in the right direction.

Toothaches, lawsuits, speeding tickets, heartburn, criticism, debt…life is constantly offering you the experience of pain so you can reconsider and reevaluate what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.

That’s why if you’re smart, you’ll welcome pain as a friend. You’ll recognize that it’s here to help you, not stop you.

You’ve heard the phrase, “No pain, no gain.” Well, it’s true. I’m not recommending you take stupid risks or put yourself in harm’s way on purpose–that’s not the kind of pain I welcome as a friend. The pain I welcome is the naturally occurring resistance that appears between you and what you want.

If you set a goal, there are going to be obstacles. Those obstacles are going to cause you pain. And that’s okay! Why?

You don’t just feel pain when your life is falling apart, you feel pain when your life is changing for the better, too.

That’s why we talk about “growing pains.” Growing isn’t easy. Consider your teeth. As babies, we endure teething pains. Then our baby teeth fall out, or get pulled out, to make room for adult teeth. We might need braces or surgery to put them in place. Live long enough, even after years of brushing and flossing, you may lose your adult teeth and get dentures.

Teeth are a pain. But without the pain of change, you’d be all gums. You’d be tonguing applesauce and pureed peas your whole life. You deserve more than baby food!

If you want to be great, if you want to push yourself to a higher level, if you want to make a difference in the world, get ready for pain.

Pain is good for you. Not the you of today, but the you of tomorrow.

We also talk about stepping outside our “comfort zone”. Well, if you’re not in the comfort zone, you must be in the discomfort zone. You must be uncomfortable.

So, maybe the best advice we can give each other is: “Make yourself uncomfortable.” Why? Because pain is a good place to be. Pain is where you learn and grow.

Again, it’s not that you can’t gain anything without pain. But the lessons come more slowly, the victories will be smaller, and you’ll take longer to get where you want to go…if you get there at all.

In martial arts, I have accepted that pain is the price I need to pay to get where I want to go. In addition to my shoulder separation, I’ve had concussions, a shoulder labral tear, a meniscus tear, costochondritis, chipped teeth, a tooth through my lip, black eyes, fractured ribs, hyperextended elbows and knees, jammed fingers and toes, and lots of cuts and contusions. And that’s with me being careful!

That’s the good news. You don’t have to go looking for pain–pain will find you. Even if you try to avoid it.

If you think you can avoid pain by sitting on the couch and watching life float by, you’re headed for disappointment. On the physical level alone, you’ll be vulnerable to obesity, diabetes, poor circulation, weak bones, low strength, poor balance, and lack of flexibility. Pain will find you!

Or let’s say you think making a difference in the world is too much work. You think you can avoid the pain of failure, rejection, betrayal, and criticism by not participating at all. Not a good plan.

On an emotional level alone, you’ll find yourself living with regret. You’ll be upset you never used your talents or pushed your capabilities to see how far you could go. You’ll be angered and bitter that you gave up on your dreams. You’ll be filled with envy and jealousy watching others get what they want out of life while you sit on the sidelines.

Life is going to bring you pain whether you choose to go after your dreams or not. The trick is to make sure the pains you experience are growing pains, the pains that come with trying to achieve something, and not the pains that come with retreating from life.

If you’re going after what you want in life, never feel sorry for yourself when pain strikes. It’s not personal.

You’re not special because your life is hard. Everyone feels pain.

Instead of suffering, claim your pain. Say thank you to pain. See it as a gift. Understand that pain is life giving you the lessons you need to get you where you want to go.

So, take a moment to ask yourself: “Where do I feel pain in my life? Who is present? What habits cause it?”

As soon as you identify a pain, ask, “What is this pain trying to tell me? What’s the lesson?”

When you feel pain, your number one goal should be to figure out what’s causing it, learn how to prevent it from ever happening again, and then move on to healing. If you’re a good student, you’ll never feel the same pain twice.

Some people don’t understand the power of pain. In martial arts, I see lots of folks get an injury and immediately use it as an excuse to stop training. But if you’re really a student, you don’t stop training. You focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do.

I don’t care what your game is—sports, business, relationships–there will always be pain and injuries, up and downs, setbacks and disasters. What matters is how you deal with that down time. In fact, even the term “down time” is not something I hear winners drop into conversation much. Here’s why—

There is no up time or down time, there is only time.

You’re either learning or you’re not. That’s the only measurement that matters. If you’re serious about success, all of your time is learning time. That’s the secret to becoming a master: unceasing, relentless, unstoppable progress.

If you paid a performance coach to improve your game, and he designed a program that focused on only one set of skills at a time, you’d say, “Cool! Sign me up.” So, why is it when we get injured, and we have the same opportunity to focus on one specific set of skills, we get depressed, lose faith, and feel like dropping out?

The only difference between the coach and the injury is choice. We choose to be coached, we don’t choose to be injured. But we can change our thinking about injuries right now…

From now on, when you’re injured, think of it as the big coach in the sky, Coach Destiny, designing a personalized program just for you to kick up your game to a whole new level. Don’t forget–your injury is not only a lesson in how to avoid getting hurt again, it’s an opportunity to improve your skills. Maybe an overlooked set of skills. If you manage injuries with an attitude like that, you’ll come back smarter and more skillful than before your injury.

This is how I’ve made my greatest gains. When I get injured, I don’t sit out. I pay attention to what Coach Destiny wants me to look at and get to work on it. I don’t say, “Woe is me.” I say, “Great! What can I learn while I’m healing?”

When I hurt my legs, I work my arms. When I hurt my left arm, I work my right arm. When I hurt my back, I work on my breathing. If I can’t stand up, I visualize. Just because you can’t do everything, doesn’t mean you can’t do something.

So, the next time you want to take a break or give up because you’ve been hurt, remember these words: “Get back in there! This is your chance to get ahead!”

Let’s sum this up…

Too often in life, we look for the easy road, the shortcut, or the pain-free way to get where we want to go. But we’re kidding ourselves.

If you want to go someplace extraordinary, you’re going to get bumped and bruised along the way. You will suffer injuries to your body and injuries to your heart. The higher your standards and the bigger your goals, the more pain you’re going to feel.

Don’t hide from it. Don’t mask it or deny it. Own it.

If you face it, you can change it.

Don’t let pain take you out of the game, let it take you deeper into the game.

When pain comes, welcome it. Learn from it. Be proud of it.

Take on the attitude that anything that hurts you, helps you. Let pain make you smarter and better than you were before.

Believe that pain is not the universe trying to stop you, it’s the universe trying to help you.

Believe that Professor Pain is the greatest advisor, trainer, and coach you will ever know.

Listen to him. That’s how you turn pain into gain.

This article is a summary of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Injuries Are Good For You.” Listen to the full episode here.