One Trick Pony: Why Your A-Game Isn’t Good Enough

I have met many women who think taking a self-defense class is a waste of time because, heck, if a guy ever messes with them, they’ll just kick him in the groin. That always works.

Except when it doesn’t work.

You can miss. He can block. He can get kicked and keep fighting. You can be knocked to the ground before you get a chance to kick. The down and dirty truth is no matter what situation you find yourself in, there is no such thing as “the right” technique or “the best” technique.

Yes, it’s a good idea to have a trick up your sleeve…it might work. But what if it doesn’t?

In martial arts, you’ll often hear this piece of advice: “fight your fight.” Don’t box a boxer. Don’t kick with a kicker. Don’t wrestle a wrestler.

The big idea? Play your strengths. Do what you do well and don’t get sucked into doing what someone else does better. Makes sense. BUT–

The fact is even when you fight your fight, you pull your big trick, you bring your A-game, you can still lose. At some point, your trick is going to max out. At some point, people are going to figure out what you’re doing and stop you. At some point, you’re going to fail.

At some point, you will discover that what got you here isn’t enough to keep you here…or get you where you want to go.

Maybe your good looks opened doors when you were younger, but those charms are fading a bit. Maybe that little song your kids used to love hearing you sing now makes them cringe. Maybe business was rockin’ two years ago, but the numbers have been dropping ever since.

You know the feeling–what was once easy is now difficult. When you reach that point, you’re left with three choices:

1) Keep trying the same trick anyway. Early on, if you can force your trick to work, I’d call that perseverance. Later on, if it’s failing again and again, I’d call that insanity.

2) Give up. Take the hit. Forget about what you want and just accept what life gives you. I’d call that risky.

3) Try something new. Learn a new trick. I’d call that smart.

The bad news is you need new tricks to get to the next level.

The good news is we are living in an age when we can pick up more tricks than at any time in human history. Yes, you could always consult a friend or reach out to a mentor, but today, you can search the internet, read a book, watch a video, listen to a podcast (like Fight For a Happy Life), call or email a priest, a therapist, a CEO, a customer, a guru, a stranger, a hero…anyone!

We have more access to more people than ever before. Which means access to more ideas than ever before. Which means there is no excuse for not learning and trying something new.

Now, I’m not saying you have to learn a million tricks–you can’t be good at everything! I just want you to be comfortable trying as many tricks as possible so you can figure out which tricks work for you. Why settle for being good at one thing when you could be great at another?

Let’s call it the ABC’s of success. You set a goal, then hunt for the ultimate bag of tricks to achieve it. Not just any tricks, your tricks. At a minimum, figure out an A-game, B-game, and C-game–a great trick, a good trick, and a wildcard trick.

I use this strategy in martial arts all the time. If I can’t push, I pull. If I can’t pull, I push. If I don’t want to push or pull, then I’ll throw the wildcard and do something unexpected, like jump or drop. Fighting taught me that just having an A-game, being a one trick pony, only works some of the time…but having an A, B, and C-game works most of the time.

When I started in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, if I got pinned on my back, I knew one move to escape. That was my A-game. But when my partner knew the same trick, I got stuck. I eventually realized I wasn’t being pinned by my opponent at all…I was being pinned by my own ego.

My ego insisted that if my trick worked before, it would work again. So, I kept trying it over and over. I ended up exhausted, feeling like an idiot, and praying my partner would have mercy on me. But once I escaped my own ego, I started hunting for a new trick…a B-game. And my new trick worked. It worked so well, my B-game became my A-game. Until one day it didn’t work, either, and the process started again.

But wait! You’re so good at your old trick! You don’t want to give it up!

I hear you. And I’m happy to say you don’t always have to give up your A-game. I mean, just because it isn’t working now, doesn’t mean it won’t work later. Try this–switch from your A-game to a B-game just to open up an opportunity to go back to your A-game successfully.

Say I’m fighting and I want to punch, but the guy has his hands up. So, I kick. He drops his hands to deal with the kick. Now I can punch. POW! Rather than force one game, I switch to another, then switch back before he can catch up.

So, yes, sometimes your A-game needs to be replaced because either you’ve changed or because times have changed, but it’s also possible that your A-game is still a winner. You just need to be foxy about using alternative tools to set up the opportunity to use it.

A one trick pony doesn’t have alternative tools. They put all their faith into one game-plan. They hit a wall and just stand there, instead of digging under it, climbing over it, moving around it, or knocking it down.

Think about a one trick pony you know. Someone who bulls their way through life just playing their A-game, whether it works or not. They make the same jokes, tell the same stories, cling to the same attitudes, swear by the same beliefs, and turn a deaf ear to anything they don’t know or don’t want to hear.

We all get stuck in a rut, but one trick ponies voluntarily choose to stay there.

One trick ponies say things like, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” even when their lives are clearly shattered, tattered, and held together with duct tape. Of course, behavior like that is rooted in more than just ego… there’s also fear. My advice—

Never be so afraid of letting go of an old trick that you’re unable to grab on to a new trick.

The ability to learn new tricks—whether you’re Michael Jordan, Madonna, or McDonald’s—is the difference between being good and great, smart and wise, a champion and a legend, and being effective a lot of the time and effective more of the time.

Here’s the cool part—your B-game doesn’t have to be as good as your A-game. Your B-game works because you use it at the right times, namely, when your A-game isn’t working. But what if your B-game doesn’t work, either? Switch to your C-game.

The secret is to focus less on the tools and more on knowing the right times to use them; less on tricks and more on strategy.

In the march towards your dreams, don’t be a soldier, be a general.

Now, you may be thinking if everything is working for you right now, you don’t need to learn any new tricks. But you’re wrong.

The best time to train your B and C-games is while your A-game is still working. If you wait for your A-game to stop working before hunting for a new trick, you’ll end up scrambling for solutions. You’ll wind up bailing water out of your boat at the same time you’re trying to patch the hole in it.

You want time to experiment. To study and reflect. To compare. And that’s a luxury you can only afford while your A-game is working.

So, don’t believe your own hype. Don’t get pinned by your ego.

No matter how successful you are in your business, relationships, diet…it is more than likely, that a time will come when your skills, talents, and luck will be tested. The earlier you prepare for that, the better.

Now, let me ask you–are you a one trick pony? Don’t be too quick to answer. I want you to think about each area of your life on its own.

Maybe you have a big bag of tricks to be successful at work, but with your family, it’s always the same old thing. Or maybe you’re always trying a new diet, but you attack your job the same way day after day.

If you’re serious about success on any front, you should sit down with a pen and paper and map out a plan for success. Literally, write down a list of your goals, then next to each one, ask yourself–what tricks am I using?

Do you even know what your tricks are? If not, take some time to break down your past successes. How did you do it? What tricks did you use? What was your A-game? Which strategies seem to work for you over and over again?

Are you successful when you speak up or stay quiet? Do you seek to please others or please yourself? Do you do just enough or do you do more? Do you follow leaders or do you strike out on your own?

Then it’s time to dive into the mud. I want you to think about the goals you set for yourself that did not work out. The goals you abandoned. The dreams that died. Which tricks were you using? Which tricks did you repeat over and over even when they weren’t working?

When you hit obstacles, what kept you from getting back on track? What tricks did you need, but didn’t have? Do you have those tricks now?

You may feel it takes years of reflection or guided therapy to answer all those questions. I don’t. I think you know perfectly well which tricks work for you and which ones don’t. The patterns have been there since you were a little kid.

Be honest with yourself. Be brave enough to accept what you already know. Be strong enough to learn what every experience is trying to teach you. Do that and you will answer the biggest question. The question we asked in Is That the Real You Or Just Window Dressing?

WHO ARE YOU?

It’s simple really. We are all just a bag of tricks stuffed inside a bag of meat. How you speak, how you walk, how you work, how you treat people, how you treat yourself…your behaviors, habits, and tactics all add up to you. And behind every success and failure is you and your bag of tricks.

If you want to get the most out of your life, you’ve got to know which tricks work, and which ones don’t.

Ask yourself: When do you do your best work—early or late in the day? Under pressure or chipping away day by day? Alone or collaborating with others?

Are you a self-starter or do you prefer a director? Do you welcome criticism or are you sensitive to feedback?

Figure it out. Figure out who you are. You can’t fight your fight if you don’t know what your fight is.

Now, let me be clear–I’m not asking you to conquer every phobia, fear, and shortcoming in your life. I’m 43 and I’ve lived long enough to know everyone is not capable of doing everything. But I don’t have to conquer all my flaws to get more of out of life. Every time I can squash even ONE fear, or learn ONE new skill, my life is set on an entirely different course.

Don’t overwhelm yourself believing you must become an invincible, omnipotent superman…just aspire to become a smarter, stronger, more effective version of you.

One more thing—never let people tell you your tricks won’t or don’t work. In martial arts, there are endless debates about which techniques work and don’t work in the “real world”. Like a kick to the groin. But those debates are always a waste of time because strategies and techniques are highly contextual.

What works for me may not work for you. What seems crazy to me today may save my life tomorrow. The reason for that is simple–

No two situations are exactly the same, and even if they were, nobody is you. And even you are not the same today as you were yesterday. So, don’t judge tricks before you try them.

In short, the formula for collecting your ultimate bag of tricks is as follows…

1) Be clear about which tricks work for you. Practice them, develop them, love them. That’s you’re A game.

2) Be clear about what doesn’t work for you. Ask yourself, is this something I can change? If so, change it. If not, find a new trick to replace it. That’s your B game. And remember–don’t wait till you’re A-game fails you before working on your B-game. Do it now.

3) Play a wildcard. If your A and B-games don’t work, surprise everyone, maybe even yourself, by trying something new just for the fun of it. That’s your C game. Who knows–it may work so well it becomes your A-game.

That’s it. Repeat this process as many times as it takes to get what you want. Be smart enough to know how to take your best shot, be wise enough to learn a new shot if your best shot doesn’t work, and be brave enough to try a crazy shot if nothing else works.

Don’t be a pony. Be a fox.

This article is a summary of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Are You a One Trick Pony?”