Motivation Is a Waste of Time

When I started martial arts, I became an evangelist. I begged everyone I knew to come to class with me. “Martial arts has it all! Fitness, wisdom, self-defense, self-knowledge!”

But no one came. Ever. And I finally got the message—motivation is a waste of time!

I made a pledge to move through the world not as a motivational speaker, but as an informational speaker. This means I will gladly offer you all the information I have, but I will never try to convince you to use it. Ever.

In short, I don’t believe in motivating anyone to do anything. I only believe in encouraging and supporting people who have already motivated themselves to ask the first question or take the first step on their own.

The old saying goes: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

But that’s not true at all…

You can make a horse drink water, but you’ll end up exhausted, wet, and injured. And the horse will hate you.

Such is the fate of motivators.

But wait a second—the real question is, if a horse isn’t thirsty, why try to make him drink in the first place?

Have you ever shared something precious with your friends only to discover they see no value in it whatsoever? You beg them to read your favorite book, try your favorite restaurant, or join your favorite class… but they don’t.

Have you ever jumped in to help friends reach a goal—a goal they set for themselves—only to see them turn around and give up on it completely? But you keep helping anyway?

Have you ever played the tireless cheerleader for someone who abandons their dreams, only to hear yourself thinking, “Wait-—why do I believe in your dreams more than you do?”

Don’t be upset! It’s not personal. They still love and respect you. Believe it. It may just be a matter of timing.

What your friend ignores today may be exactly what they’re searching for next month. What your friend abandons today may become a burning passion next year.

You can’t make the stars align… you can only make your star shine.

So, how do you keep your star shining? By conserving your time, energy, and enthusiasm.

Whether you are a dedicated teacher, amateur life coach, or helpful friend, here are some suggestions to keep in mind the next time you feel compelled to motivate someone to do something.

• If you hear yourself giving advice when no one asked for it, stop.
• If you hear yourself starting sentences with the words, “You know what you should do,” stop.
• If friends share a goal with you and you end up more excited about it than they are, stop.

JUST STOP!

WASTE OF TIME ALERT! Whether it’s a New Year’s resolution, a mid-life crisis, or an ordinary whining session, you’ll soon be hearing friends and family setting all kinds of goals…

I’m going to write a book!
I’m going to lose weight!
I’m going to start a business!
I’m going to find a new job!

You’ll want to help them. You’ll want to offer advice. You’ll want to draw up plans.

DON’T!

Instead of jumping in, give the goal-setters a little time to get started on their own.

That’s the test! If they are truly motivated, they will take action without you.

Sad but true, no matter how much you care, no matter how badly you want to help, you can not give someone the motivation to try something new or to work hard for success. Nor should you.

If someone doesn’t have the heart to work for something, they don’t really want it. Or deserve to get it.

Of course, if someone asks that first question, or takes that first action, jump in and don’t hold back! Your advice may be the key to reaching their goals. But discipline yourself to stick to the role of an informational speaker, not a motivational speaker.

Provide the information they need, not the motivation to succeed.

Because when you care more about their goal than they do, you’ll also end up more upset and disappointed when they give up!

Fact: Life is short and getting shorter. Your time, energy, and wisdom are your most precious possessions. Treat each of them like money.

Be highly discerning when, where, and with whom you make your investments. Spending unwisely will leave you emotionally broke.

In the martial arts, I have seen many teachers become listless and lifeless from watching students come and go year after year… students who were not motivated to stay and learn everything the teacher hoped to share.

The truth is, I have felt that same disappointment on the mats… dripping in sweat, losing my voice, believing I could make every student care about their practice by the sheer force of my will. But I have learned an important lesson—

Teaching begins with a student’s motivation to learn, not a teacher’s motivation to teach!

So, since you didn’t ask for my advice, allow me to finish with this last piece of “information”: The secret to building a legacy of inspiration and accomplishment for yourself and for those around you is to share your energies and talents only with those people who will appreciate them.

The only trick is to find those people… and be shining when they find you.