Welcome to Episode #112 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Lessons From Being Choked Out.”
When I started training in the martial arts, I practiced a long list of moves to escape from chokes. No air, no problem… right?
WRONG!
It turned out that there’s a big difference between a “practice choke” and a REAL strangulation. Thankfully, I found out before someone tried to really kill me!
Thanks to teachers like Carl Cestari and “Judo Gene” LeBell, I had the chance to feel how effective (and terrifying!) being choked out can be. Those experiences also taught me a few good life lessons, which I’d like to share with you.
Before you listen to the podcast, you might also want to check out my video, How to Survive a Choke. It might come in handy!
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Lessons From Being Choked Out
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TRANSCRIPT
Howdy, my friend! Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better.
Sad news in the martial arts world. As you’ve probably already heard, the legend, Judo Gene LeBell, has passed away at the age of 89. Now, there are so many stories about Judo Gene LeBell, and I’m going to add another one to the library today.
Judo Gene was, of course, a pioneer in cross training in the martial arts. He made a name for himself in the sports world, the entertainment world, and of course, the teaching world.
It seems that Judo Gene worked with everybody who’s anybody, and it’s just an incredible legacy that he has left behind, the influence that he has had on the martial arts world. But more than that, what I was probably most impressed by was the fact that he always carried himself with a sense of humor.
Martial arts is a serious topic, self-defense is a serious topic, but he found a way to make it very human and to balance out that energy that can sometimes run away to being too aggressive or frightening. And he made it very human. At least that was my take on it.
As it happens, I was lucky enough to meet him one time. Just once, but once might have been enough because he choked me out. I’m going to tell you that story and the lessons that I took away from it in one moment, but first let me back up and give you my quick history on chokes in general.
Now, forgive me, when I say chokes, we’re really talking more properly, probably about strangulations, but common usage, I’m saying chokes, so let’s not get too technical about it at the moment.
Now, my first formal schooling was in Taekwondo, and in our Taekwondo program, we did practice choke defenses. So you know, two hands on a throat, arm around your neck. But I would say even though we were practicing choke defenses, I was never really choked.
So you’d get a little squeeze, you’d say, oh okay, Yeah, I get it. But to me, I didn’t have a lot of extra respect for choking as opposed to a wrist grab or a collar grab or any other kind of grab. It just seemed like, Okay, well here’s what you do for a choke, just like any other attack. I just do this, I do that.
Now, of course, that’s a bit of a problem, a bit of a blind spot to not take chokes more seriously. And my attitude changed forever when I went to a seminar with Carl Cestari. Now, I don’t know if you know about Carl Cestari, but he was a highly trained martial artist. He was more of a pioneer in the combatives field.
He popularized or brought back to life a lot of the teachings from World War II, the work of people like Fairbairn and Applegate, and so he came in with a really practical, tough-edged type of training.
Now, I was still a young Taekwondo belt at the time and I didn’t know what I was looking at here. I just knew this guy’s tough.
And at one point during the seminar, he was in a mount position on the ground and he put a choke on a guy. And to my ignorant eyes, I thought, well, the guy’s hands are both free, his legs are both free. We’ve done choke defenses. Surely that guy can get out of there.
And so I asked that question. Yes, my friend, I asked that foolish question. And I, with respect, I said, Gee, you got that choke, but why can’t he just get out of that? And Sensei Carl said, Oh, come here. And I lay down on the ground.
He got into the mount. He basically prepared his hands and he said, tell me when you’re ready and then you could do whatever you want. As soon as you feel the choke, you do whatever you want. And I said, okay. Go!
And I kid you not, what happened was, I think I’ve told this story before, my arms not only did not click into some automatic choke defense, my body actually extended! To my horror, my arms shot out and my legs shot out because he put that choke on and it felt more like a punch to the throat than a choke.
So I would say that was the first time I was ever really choked. It was terrifying. I immediately had respect for chokes and put them in a different class than a wrist grab or a collar grab. Chokes are terrifying when applied fully and properly and with bad intent.
All right, so I’m a little slow on that, but I figured it out. Now, back to my Taekwondo class. Our class was held in a school. They shared the rent with a Judo program and I was friendly with a couple of the guys in the Judo program. At one point they saw us working on choke defenses and one of the black belts offered, Would you like me to choke you out?
That’s right. That’s the kind of things that happen in a Judo school. It was just very normal. It was like he was getting a cup of coffee. He said, Would you like me to choke you out? And my knee-jerk response was no, because I was still living in terror from Carl Cestari’s choke.
I just thought, Oh my God, I don’t want that again. But more than the terror of being choked out, I didn’t really trust this guy. Nice guy, but I’d never seen him choke anybody else out. I had not been choked out fully when Sensei Carl put that choke on me.
I had tunnel vision and I saw stars and I was that close to going out, but he let it go. I presume he knows what he’s doing and he let me go just before I blacked out. I didn’t mention that detail, but that’s why it was so terrifying, because I was pretty much gone.
So when this guy said, I’m gonna complete it, seal the deal, I said no– no I don’t, because I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me and I certainly don’t trust you.
Now that was a decision that I regretted for years. Even though I was still learning other self-defense styles and still working through choke defenses, I always had that nagging voice in my head saying, you should have gotten choked out, you should have taken that opportunity, you should have said yes. Now you don’t know.
So I don’t know the full extent of what this choking experience is like, or strangulation. So that went on for years until, ta-da, here we go…
How I Was Choked Out by Gene LeBell
I went to a martial arts event in Las Vegas and Judo Gene had a station at a booth at the event. I think he was selling his book, maybe he had some DVDs. I didn’t buy those, but I did get the book– here it is. Gene LeBell’s Grappling World, The Encyclopedia of Finishing Holds.
The deal was, I’m a little foggy on this part, but you stood in line, and then you could buy this book, and it might have been, you get a patch if you let him choke you out. So two different deals– you can either just come up and buy the book or if you wanted the book and a patch, well, then he would choke you out to earn the patch, to say I was choked out by Gene LeBell.
Now, you’ll see inside, he was a kind enough fellow to sign the book. He put, “To Ando, the best of all worlds. Your friend, Gene LeBell.” And can you see there he actually drew a picture of himself. So, sense of humor, big heart, doesn’t know me from Adam and he took the time to do that. One of my treasured possessions.
Okay, so now, to get the choke, you had to get in line, and by the way, I can’t imagine how many people Judo Gene must have choked out in his lifetime, because just there at this event, there were, I don’t know, 20 or 30 people in line. It was a multiple day event, so just from that place alone, he must have choked out a hundred people, I’m guessing. So I can’t even imagine how many people he put to sleep.
But I got into line. The friends that I was with wanted no part of this. Not only weren’t they going to join me, they were trying with all of their power to dissuade me from doing this. Like, what are you crazy? Don’t get choked out! That’s not healthy! It’s dangerous! You can’t do that!
But I knew who Judo Gene LeBell was and I knew that if I was gonna get choked out by anybody, that’s the guy who should do it. I trusted his experience, his legend. That’s the guy I wanted to be choked out by. So I ignored my friends and we’re moving up in line and I’m standing strong.
Now there’s a guy ahead of me in line. Just a little aside here– this guy, I’m wearing normal clothes, but this guy came with an image. He’s wearing an all-black gi and a black belt, okay. And he’s got his girlfriend with him. They’re a really good-looking couple. I hate them already.
They’re super young, fit, good-looking couple, but this guy’s got a bit of an attitude. This guy’s pretty cocky. It’s the way he’s holding himself and kind of moving around and talking about stuff. He’s pretty cocky.
Now I don’t know where I picked it up, but somewhere along my journey in martial arts, I’d picked up the idea that if Judo Gene LeBell is choking you, if you give him attitude, then he’ll drop you on the floor. He’ll choke you out and then drop you on the floor. If you are respectful and kind, then he will lay you down on the floor and be good to you in your unconscious state.
So I already knew going in, and I would have anyway, treat him with respect, treat him with honor. And I did. But the guy in front of me, like I said, he had a little bit of attitude with him.
So I can’t speak for a Judo Gene. I’m not saying anything bad happened here, but here’s what happened. My friends are all still watching in horror, like, please don’t do this, don’t do this. And I keep saying, it’s totally safe, it’s not a big deal. It takes six to eight seconds. It’s just a drop in oxygen here. I’ll be right back, no big deal.
This guy ahead of me though, stands up, Judo Gene gets behind himand puts the rear naked choke on him. Guy goes out. Gene puts him on the floor. And when he awoke, Gene goes back to the table because he’s signing autographs and doing his bit.
My memory is that it was his wife and one of his senior students who would collect the person from the floor, get them back to being sensible, and then escort them away. So I do believe that was Judo Gene’s wife who was there.
Now, as this guy wakes up, he freaks out. He’s just panicking. He’s like, what’s going on? I mean, like bad acting in a bad movie. He didn’t take it well.
And Judo Gene’s wife, who must have seen this a million times, said, Are you all right, honey? She’s very calm about it. Are you all right, honey? And he’s like, No, I’m not all right! Flipping out.
I’m pretty sure that his girlfriend left him that day. I’m pretty sure, because the show that he put on just was very embarrassing. So that’s on him.
But back to me– far more important. My friends were now doubly terrified, because not only did they have their preconceived notions of what would happen when you get choked out, they just saw this tough guy freaking out from being choked out. So a little extra pressure on me to keep my cool.
All right, so it’s my turn. I go up. I say something very respectful, like this is an honor. Thank you for doing this. How crazy is this, right? This guy makes a living choking people out. But I’m there. I’m all about it.
So presumably, he senses that I am respectful because he didn’t slam me on the ground. But sure enough, he puts the puts his arm around my neck. He says, Are you ready? I say, Yes, sir. And my last thought, because the pressure came on pretty fast, a little bit slower than Carl Cestari did it, but here it came…
And my last thought was, Gee, that’s tighter than I thought. That was my last thought. Gee, this is a lot tighter than I thought it would be.
Okay, now we pause because that’s what happened to me. I don’t know exactly how long I was out. I’m sure it wasn’t long. But when I woke up, it was a very surreal experience. It was like being reborn, I guess.
The only thing I can think of is that song, Comfortably Numb, from Pink Floyd. The distant ship smoke on the horizon. Because when my eyes opened, of course I was on the rug and looking up at the ceiling and there were some of my friends’ faces hovering above me.
I swear to you, I didn’t know my name. I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t know who these people were. There was a moment or two there where I was just completely zoned out. And then slowly the memory like, Oh, I know where I am. Oh, I know what just happened.
Oh, and it was very calming. It was very peaceful. It was like just like a reboot of the whole system. And I just found myself full of joy, full of warmth. I was very thankful for the experience. It wasn’t terrifying at all, the reawakening.
So I was very thankful to Judo Gene for that memory. For that safe passage into the world of being choked out. After the fact, of course, I eventually got into a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school. And I have fought many, many chokes since then. I’ve gotten back to that point of the tunnel vision, and the stars, and not being able to swallow for a couple of days. I’ve been that guy. But never been choked all the way out.
So Judo Gene is still my benchmark for chokes. Now the lessons that I took away from that event.
Three quick lessons…
Number one, if you’re in martial arts, whether you’re a student or a teacher, respect the attack.
I don’t care what you’re practicing. If it is wrist grabs, or punches or kicks, or you’re working with knives and sticks, whatever it is that you’re doing, please never ever forget that these are movements designed to hurt, maim, and kill people. Justified or not, that’s what’s going on.
This is one of the reasons why– I’m not telling school owners how to run their business– but when I had the opportunity to be one of the guys throwing a birthday party in a martial arts school, and you see other people using samurai swords to cut cakes, that’s not me. I absolutely am against that. I don’t like the intermingling of weapons and humor. Not like that.
I said before, Judo Gene always had a sense of humor about himself, his own character. Or you could trash talk between students and other teachers. Okay. But to me, it always seemed very distasteful to take a sword, a killing weapon– this is not for harvesting bananas, this thing is not for churning butter, this thing was made to cut people apart, kill them– and to use it to cut a child’s birthday cake.
Call me a killjoy, say I’m a stick in the mud. It just seems wildly inappropriate. I also don’t use guns to put peanut butter on bread. I don’t think that’s cool, but you do what you want. I’m not going to stop you. I’m just saying that’s how I feel.
So number one, respect weapons, respect barehanded weapons. You’re in martial arts, it’s martial, that’s warfare. Please always respect what you’re doing.
Even if you’re not choking each other out and really hurting each other, even if you’re doing light contact sparring, don’t be giggling about some joke you heard. Don’t talk about movies and TV. Honor the fact that what you’re doing is rehearsing, killing, or being killed. It’s just very important.
Number two, second lesson, Judo Gene inspired me to become a person of trust.
Someone that you could trust, someone who could inspire trust in others. Like I said, I had an opportunity from a nice guy who was a Judo black belt years before to choke me out. But there was something missing that I just didn’t trust him to do it.
Judo Gene, for whatever reason, even though I had never met him before, but in learning about his history, knowing about his history, seeing him that day, getting the vibe of what was going on, and seeing how he was choking other people out, I trusted him.
Maybe that’s irrational. We’re irrational beings sometimes. But it still gave me the idea that it would be so cool to live a life that would allow others to trust me with something as precious as their life, let alone telling me a secret, telling me something that’s bothering them.
Whatever it is, it would be so great if I could go around to anyone and say, May I choke you out? And have them say, Oh yeah, sure. Let me put my coffee down. Sure, go ahead. I trust you.
It’s an interesting way to measure your character. If you’re going around offering to choke out people and they say, Absolutely not, never, not in a million years, you might want to look at how you’re treating people.
Be a person who can choke others out. Be like Judo Gene.
Lesson number three is to make peace with death. Accept that death may just be a new beginning.
This is a theme I’ve talked about before, so I won’t belabor this. Specifically in episode #24. It was called Facing Death. I talk more about this in depth.
But let’s not forget, again, it’s martial arts. You are practicing, in a quality class, you are not forgetting that you are practicing death in its extreme form. I’m either trying to prevent you from killing me or I’m in a situation where it would be justifiable to take your life.
Of course, we trained hopefully so that we have so much control that we have options. So maybe even if it is justifiable to take a life, you don’t have to. Maybe you choose just to damage their body so they can’t fight you anymore. Maybe you find a way to get away from them. Maybe you find a way even to befriend them at some point in your life.
We want that range of options, I think, if we’re fully functioning human beings. But at its core, we’re still talking about worst case scenarios.
So you have this chance in your martial arts training to practice facing death, which is the ultimate failure, the ultimate loss. How do you handle that? How do you face it?
When I was choked out by Judo Gene, I woke up in a state of joy, of warmth, of happiness. I had a really nice day after that. The guy ahead of me did not. He was tense, he was upset, he was flustered, his identity was shaken. He did not face that death well. And again, I can’t speak for him, maybe he was just having a bad day.
But for you, give yourself these opportunities when you’re training. When you lose, that’s a chance to practice dealing with loss. When you fail, that’s your chance to practice facing failure.
How do you handle it? Can you, do you get angry about it? Do you feel shame or do you see it as a learning experience? Can you even face failure with a smile because you know you have another chance.
Obviously, death is death. Perhaps there is another beginning after death. But if you do wake up on this plane of existence, you got another shot. Waking up is, Wow, I have another shot to get things right, to make things better.
So, treat every loss and every failure as a rebirth.
Yes, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes that can sound a little too idealistic. Can you make everything better? Is life just this never-ending series of improvement if you keep a positive attitude?
No, no, I don’t think so. We’re all different, right? Genetically, some of us are going to be predisposed to shutting down under stress more than other people. Then we have environmental concerns, where you’re raised, how you’re raised, who your role models were early on.
Don’t get me wrong. We all come into this world in that first 10 years or so with wildly different makeups. However, whatever your makeup is, I do believe that you can change. You can make it better. You can improve whatever your station is.
I know that only because I changed mine. I’m not perfect. I wasn’t born perfect. But I know that before martial arts training, I definitely had a hotter temper. I was far less patient with people. I was far more critical of myself. I did feel shame more if I lost or wasn’t number one. I was far more competitive for the wrong reasons, for unhealthy reasons.
I did take everything personally. A red light is personal. That insult is personal. You really meant that. A bad grade on a test, that teacher’s out to get me. More paranoid.
But martial arts really reset me because failure is part of that process. Losing is part of that process. Getting hit is part of the process. Getting choked is part of the process. Tapping out is part of the process. That’s not something to run away from. That’s something to embrace. Because if you can accept all of the losses, then you will grow.
And that’s my goal. And I presume it’s yours.
So please go into your training at class with your partners. Never with an unhealthy competitive spirit. You’re there to improve yourself and you improve yourself every time. You can look at that loss, look at that failure, and smile because you know you have another chance to make it right.
Even training on your own. Yes, you could do pushups until you conk out. You could try to hold a horse stance as long as you can and get to that point where you, eventually, your muscles fail and you collapse to the floor.
Okay, those are physical examples, but let me repeat one little lesson from Episode 24. I would also encourage you on your own to think negative.
What? Aren’t you Mr. Positivity? Well, sometimes.
But it’s also valuable to think negative. I mean specifically spending time with your scariest thoughts and meditating on your nightmares. That’s something I said in another episode. Spend time with your scariest thoughts and meditate on your nightmares.
So, yes, should you visualize winning? You bet. That will make your techniques better. Should you also visualize losing? Yes, because that will make your learning better. If you go around denying that anytime you lost was a fluke– Oh, I wasn’t trying, he got lucky– you didn’t learn something.
So practice losing when it’s not real, like anything else. Like a kata–how am I going to respond when I lose next time? How am I going to respond when I fail next time? How am I going to face it?
I mean literally, if you’re going to visualize getting out of a choke successfully, also spend a moment imagining what would happen if you didn’t get out of that choke. How would your friends feel? How would your family feel? Maybe that’ll remind you what you were fighting for in the first place.
How would the world be different if you’re not here? Spend time visualizing being knocked out. Visualize being jumped on by four or five guys and you can’t win. You just accept the beat down. You’re going to have to heal now.
Visualize being shot. Imagine being stabbed. And let those emotions come up. Let those feelings come up and reflect on them. You will learn so much about yourself by seeing how you respond to failure. Probably more than what you learn from when things are going great, when you’re winning, when everything worked out.
So that’s my advice. Think negative. And that is what I’m going to put under my Judo Gene LeBell chapter in my martial arts teaching handbook. He helped me learn that. By being choked out and going to the extreme of losing consciousness and being able to wake up again and keep going, a better person, a more knowledgeable person, yeah, I’ll always be thankful for that.
Now, am I telling you that you should go get someone to choke you out? I’m not here to recommend anything of that nature. Your journey is your journey. You may be able to intuit information better than I can.
You may have already had close calls in other areas of your life where you don’t specifically need that. I’m just saying that that choke helped me learn about myself and learn about the world.
So, that’s the big lesson that I wanted to leave you with today. Again, a bow to Judo Gene wherever he is today. Let’s not forget that losing is the path to winning. That failing is the path to succeeding. And if you can find that balance between thinking positive and thinking negative, you’ll be the best prepared to lead a happy life.
Okay, time to practice. I hope you’re looking forward to your next death, and I hope you’re really looking forward to your next rebirth.
Until next time, smiles up my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life.
