Finish Strong: How To Get Things Done

I admit it–martial artists can be a wacky bunch. Allow me to share an example…

One night, during an Aikido class, my teacher demonstrated how to defend against a knife attack. She called up a student and handed him a wooden knife, then gave the cue to attack…

The student stuck out his arm, thrusting for her stomach. She pivoted out of the way, grabbed his hand, and put him on the ground with a wristlock—kote gaeshi.

She took away the knife, threw it a few feet away, and stepped back.

Did you catch the wacky part in there?

The teacher demonstrated the same technique several times. Each time, she finished by throwing the knife a few feet away from the attacker.

Yes, I realize this was just a demonstration, but she never explained what she would do in real life. She just kept putting him down and returning the knife.

No broken arm. No head injury. Not even a harsh word. Which is not just wacky, it’s–

CRAZY!

At some point, I raised my hand and asked politely, “So, in real life, what would you do? I mean, what if he picks up the knife and attacks you again?”

She had an answer ready to go. “Just do it again.”

Whoa. Let’s stop right here. My friends, in case you haven’t heard, a knife attack is a serious situation. Deadly serious. I don’t care who you are or what you know, if someone has a knife and you don’t, you are in trouble.

Here’s a self-defense tip for you:

If you’re lucky enough to disarm a knife-wielding attacker, do not return the knife and give him a second chance to kill you!

That wouldn’t just be crazy, that would be–

STUPID!

It gets worse. I was confused by her answer, so I followed up. “But what if you do it again and he keeps attacking?”

She answered with a smug grin, “You do it as many times as you have to until he gets the message.”

Gets the message? What message—that you’re stupid?

Now, to be clear, I’m not criticizing Aikido. A martial arts style is only as effective as the teacher sharing it. If a teacher is good, any style can be powerful. If a teacher is bad, any style can look stupid. And this lady definitely made Aikido look STUPID.

I also want to make it clear that I don’t believe this teacher was evil or a bad person. She was simply delusional, irresponsible, and a little wacky.

So, why am I telling you this story? To learn from my teacher’s mistake! She would not, or could not, finish her fight. As a result, she put herself in danger of being killed.

If you want to be successful in self-defense, or any part of your life, you must finish your fight. And finish strong.

If you are attacked by someone with a knife, you can either run or fight. If you choose to run, RUN. Your goal is to get to a safe place as fast as you can. If you give up on this goal–if you stop running–you’ll be back in danger.

If you are forced to fight, FIGHT. Your goal is to take control and stop the threat of being hurt. If that means injuring the attacker, DO IT and don’t think twice. Here’s why–

When it comes to self-defense, there is only one goal—to survive.

The teacher in our story, however, did not make survival her number one goal. I can’t say for sure what she was thinking, but I know this–in the context of self-defense, she chose the wrong goal. She also had a terrible plan. How do I know? Because in real life, she would end up dead. How’s that for proof?

But let’s pretend for a moment that she did make survival her main goal. And let’s pretend she had a plan to break the attacker’s arm to stop the threat…

…even with the right goal and a solid plan, it wouldn’t make any difference if she is not willing to follow through. If she’s not willing to finish the fight, she is still going to end up dead.

Forgive me if this is a little intense, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from martial arts, it’s that truth is revealed in the extremes. In this case, knife defense can teach all of us the secret of how to finish strong and get more out of life.

The secret is made up of three steps. We touched on them briefly in “Smash Through the Maze Between You and Your Goals,” but we’ll go a little deeper this time. Here they are…

How to Finish Strong

Step #1: Set the right goals. If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never know how to get there! You’ve got to ask yourself, “What do I want? Where do I want to be?” Get clear on the big idea of what you’re trying to accomplish. The sooner, the better.

Step #2: Pick the right plan. You can’t get something done if you don’t know what to do! If you don’t pick a plan, you’ll end up floating or frozen. Either way, you have no chance of getting what you want. Pick a plan!

Step #3: Follow through. If you don’t commit to your plan, you’ll get nothing…or lose everything. Finish what you start!

That’s it. The secret to success in three easy steps. And yet, look how many different ways we goof it up–

• You have a perfect goal, but no plan to get there.
• You have a perfect goal, but the wrong plan to get there.
• You work hard, but have no goal.
• You work hard, but you’re chasing the wrong goal.
• You have a perfect goal, a perfect plan, but you don’t follow through.

Maybe success isn’t so simple after all. There are so many ways to waste time, energy, and enthusiasm on the wrong goal, the wrong plan, or because you don’t finish what you start.

When I talk to most people, they only have a vague idea of what they want out of life. And a vague goal leads to a vague plan. And a vague goal and a vague plan lead to never knowing when they’re getting closer to what they want or drifting farther away.

When you don’t have a clear goal and a clear plan, the issue of following through and finishing goals is moot. You’ll never get anything done.

You can’t finish strong if you don’t start!

Even when I look at people who do have a clear goal and plan, there are lots of starters, but very few finishers.

Most starters hit a roadblock or get thrown off course and give up on their goal. They lose one or two battles and surrender the war. But to get things done, you must push forward, battle after battle, bearing your scars and wrapped in bandages, until the war is won.

Why do so many starters give up? Why do they quit early instead of finish strong? Fear of change.

If you finish strong, your life will change. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t have set the goal in the first place!

Starters want change, but as we talked about in “Injuries Are Good For You,” change is stressful and sometimes even painful. Even when it’s for the better.

If you earn your doctorate, get plastic surgery, lose 50 pounds, double your income, or fall in love, you will look at yourself differently, and others will look at you differently. That can be overwhelming.

To avoid that stress of a “new you”, you might stop the change dead in its tracks. Look how many people drop out of high school. Drop out of college. Stay in a job they don’t like. Pay for a gym membership, but never go. Sign up for an online course, but never complete it. Stay in debt instead of saving.

Many people won’t change until the pain of where they are is greater than the fear of where they’re going.

When you fear change, you won’t follow through. You won’t finish your fight. You’ll give up. Make excuses. Sabotage your plans. Blame others for sabotaging your plans. Or my favorite—

You change your goals over and over so you look like an achiever, when all you’re really doing is guaranteeing you’ll never change at all.

It’s understandable. It’s so much easier to cling to old habits and the old, familiar picture of ourselves than to break free and build new habits and create a new identity. I’m going to say something heavy here, but it’s true–

The discomfort that comes with finishing a fight and killing an attacker is the same discomfort that comes with finishing a goal and killing the old you.

If you don’t let the old you die, the new you will never live. That’s why you must push through and do whatever it takes to finish your fight. You must give yourself permission to exercise every option and use every tool to complete your goal. Your survival as a living, breathing, thriving, growing person depends on it. Your happiness depends on it.

Let’s review…

To get the most out of life, you must figure out the right goal. What do I want? What is my purpose? Where do I want to end up? Who do I want to become?

These questions may take time to figure out, and that’s okay. What’s important is to at least choose a direction. If you don’t know what you want, then get clear about what you don’t want, what you don’t care about, where you don’t want to end up, and who you don’t want to become.

Make your first goal to find your goal! As you move forward, your vision will grow clearer and clearer.

As you form your goal, make a plan. A good plan. That’s easier said than done. You need time. You need to experiment. You need to learn.

Think about it–if every plan worked, then everyone would be successful! To get started, pick any plan. If it works, stick to it. If it doesn’t, try something else.

There are many roads up the same mountain. Never be so focused on one road that you miss a turn and drive off the side.

Once you have a clear goal and a good plan, you only need one more thing—the will to follow through. No excuses, no headtrips, no second thoughts, no fear, no sabotage, no anxiety…just action. Consistent action.

Don’t just finish the fight, finish strong!

Final thought. You probably don’t spend much time imagining yourself defending against a knife attack. You probably don’t envision yourself in a life or death situation at all. But the truth is–

You are in a life or death situation right now and in every moment.

One day you’ll be dead. The time to get things done is now. It’s up to you to make decisions and do the work that will bring you the most success and happiness possible.

Do not let your spirit die, your dreams die, or your joy die.

Do whatever it takes to protect them.

Set goals. Make plans. And with your last dying breath…

…finish your fight. Finish strong.

This article is a summary of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “How To Get Things Done.” Listen to the full episode here.